Kiddie Clutter: The Trouble with Too Much Stuff

You pick it up, put it away, carry it around, step on it, sit on it, lose it and inevitably find it in the most mysterious places—and yet, you never seem to get rid of it. 

Yup, it’s your kids’ stuff.

When it comes to blankets, binkies, balls and books, where does the accumulation stop? And how do you control it?

Is there anything wrong with spoiling your kids—or can you find a balance between your child’s needs and wants without all the baggage?

Do your kids simply have ?

Genevieve Suzuki: This Christmas we realized our daughter, Quinn, had too much stuff. She was given a lot of presents by family and friends—so many toys and clothes for such a little girl! We're blessed for sure, but the amount of stuff embarrassed me when I thought about kids who are lucky to get just one gift.

To help Quinn appreciate each gift, we took friends' advice and stored away most of the toys for later dates during the year. We bring out a new toy every month for Quinn to enjoy. So far, it's working. As for some of the stuffed animals she received, they were donated to kids' charities so that they would be given a better, more appreciative home.

Because we're new parents, we're learning to control Quinn's stuff by first asking (1) whether she needs it, (2) whether she'd actually want it for more than one hour, and (3) whether we have room to store it. If the answer to any of those questions is "no," it gets donated.

Ray Pearson: I think it has always been a challenge balancing the kids needs versus wants throughout our kids’ childhood and teenage years. We have worked with our kids on learning the difference between needs and wants, and when the kids were younger, my wife and I had many discussions on how much to spend on gifting. We still do.

I think the most important message I hope my children get is that their self-image is not determined by how much stuff they have and love is not measured by how much stuff they get.

Jennifer Zeglen: It's hard to say that my kids don't have too much stuff, especially while cleaning toys out of every room in the house on a Sunday night. They definitely have more than they need to keep them occupied and engaged, but different toys tend to elicit different types of play and skill-building. 

Boxes of random stuff like old pipe cleaners and toilet paper rolls are used to make a zoo or a spaceship.  I think there is value in having a large supply of raw materials for their imaginations, but we also have fine motor skill toys, gross motor skill toys and a closet full of arts and crafts as well. 

We do limit ourselves by not buying many toys that don't have obvious educational or imaginative value (unless it is the one thing they want the most). I think it has also helped that we have only bought new toys for special occasions.

Anastacia Grenda: When you have a 7-year-old boy whose favorite things in the world are Lego sets—and the hundreds of tiny little pieces that come with them—of course you have too much stuff! 

We try and save some birthday/Christmas gifts to spread throughout the year and we also clean out old toys for charity each year—and the kids are a part of that. We've also encouraged the grandparents—a major source of "stuff"—to spend money on experiences rather than things. For instance, my in-laws chipped in for my daughter's dance classes, and my dad gave the kids Legoland passes.

We definitely try to be mindful of what we bring into our home, but I always feel like there's more we could pare down—especially when it's time for everyone to clean up the playroom.

Meet our moms (and dad):

Genevieve Suzuki has one 2-year-old daughter. In addition to having her own law practice, she writes feature stories for Encinitas Patch. She is also the author of "The Original Poi Cats on O'ahu," a children's book published in Hawaii.

Anastacia Grenda is mom to a 7-year-old son and 4-year-old daughter who never fail to make her laugh every day. She is a longtime writer and editor.

Jennifer Zeglen is a mom to two imaginative girls, ages 4 and 6.  She is also a local naturopathic doctor with a family medicine practice.

Ray Pearson is the father of three children, ages 26, 23 and 17. He lives with his wife in Carlsbad and devotes most of his nonwork time to young people and the Rotary Club.

Judy Adams Halter and Edie High Sanchez are certified Redirecting Children’s Behavior (RCB) instructors with a combined 50 years of parenting experience. Halter is the mother of four children, ages 21, 19, 17 and 14. Sanchez has two grown daughters and three grandchildren; two girls, ages 1 and 5, and a boy, age 7. Both women live in La Jolla.

Do you have questions for our Moms Council?  Email them to the editor at Jennifer.Reed@patch.com.