Flight Attendant Flees Leaving 30 Kilos of Cocaine at LAX

Flight Attendant Flees Leaving 30 Kilos of Cocaine at LAX: Airport officials say a flight attendant fled, leaving behind luggage containing 30 kilos of cocaine after she was selected for a random screening at Los Angeles International Airport (LAX). Let’s give her the benefit of the doubt - she probably only went off somewhere to powder her nose.

Easter Bunny Gets in Fist Fight at New Jersey Mall: A costumed Easter Bunny, there to pose for pictures with the kids, was caught on video fighting and punching people at Jersey City’s Newport Mall. Wow, what a silly wabbit! Sounds like that bunny was hopping mad. My guess is that someone must have egged him on. Witnesses say the fighting was so intense, people thought they were at a Trump rally.

http://www.johnnyrobish.com

Intel Mastermind Andy Grove Dead At 79: Andy Grove, the Silicon Valley elder statesman who made Intel into the world’s top chipmaker and helped usher in the personal computer age, has died at the age of 79. No word on whether his coffin will say “Intel Inside.”

Mississippi Politicians Allowed to Pocket Campaign Cash: When former Republican Mississippi Lt. Gov. Amy Tuck shut down her campaign in the closing days of 2013 and took a job at Mississippi State University as “special assistant” to the president at a starting salary of $160,000, she also took with her the hundreds of thousand of dollars remaining in her campaign account, something quite common in the Republican stronghold. In related news, I’m excited to announce that I am now running for Gov. of Mississippi on the Republican ticket, please remember to donate generously so we can stop all these damn immigrants from taking advantage of our system.

Man Spends Five Years Studying Self-Made Millionaires: A man spent 5 years studying what 177 self-made millionaires have in common and concluded that they all avoid one costly habit — procrastination. Let me get this straight, he spends 5 years researching what millionaires have in common and all he comes up with is “they don’t procrastinate?” Now I’m no social scientist, but it’s seems pretty obvious that the thing most millionaires have in common is boatloads of money.

http://www.johnnyrobish.com

Christie Claims Trump Didn't Mean Literal Riots: New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie (R) says that Donald Trump was only speaking figuratively and not literally when he predicted “riots” if the GOP blocks him from winning the presidential nomination. So based on that, I assume Trump isn’t planning on building a “literal wall” that Mexico will pay for.

NFL Warns Atlanta No Super Bowl if Anti-Gay Bill Passes: The NFL is warning the Atlanta Falcons that if Georgia passes their anti-gay “religious freedom” bill as expected, they may not get to host the Super Bowl. I think Arizona would be a better choice for a Super Bowl than Georgia anyway. Arizona has more of a dry hate.