A Love Quadrangle That Fails to Titillate

If you’re like me, you really only know the broad strokes of French history: there was a Revolution sometime in the late 1700s, and the King and his Queen were beheaded. The  French have also come up with one of the world’s most beautiful languages (“mon amour!”), developed couture fashion, learned how to make pretty good wine and cheese, and created the New Wave of cinema.

Unfortunately, if you don't know any more than the above about French history, The Princess of Montpensier may be a frustrating film for you for the first 60 minutes. It’s a historical bodice ripper from esteemed director Bertrand Tavernier. Never before has a film made me wish that I’d paid attention in history class, even if the history being taught was that of another country.

This is because the story in Princess takes place against the backdrop of the bloody French Wars of Religion (1562 – 98), in which aristocratic Catholics and Protestants (then called Huguenots) fought for power. According to Wikipedia, “During this time, complex diplomatic negotiations and agreements of peace were followed by renewed conflict and power struggles.”

No kidding. Trying to keep up with the negotiations, peace treaties that weren’t really peace treaties, alliances that were fake, and general subterfuge in this movie was exhausting, if not downright annoying. Add to this the fact that Princess is supposed to be (I think) the story of a young, aristocratic woman traded like a baseball card by the men around her, but trying to find love and her true self, and you’ve got a real mess on your hands.

But let me back up here and give you a sense of the story…

Marie (Mélanie Thierry), the beautiful, headstrong daughter of an aristocrat, is in love with Henri (Gaspard Ulliel), the brother of the young man to whom she is betrothed. Unfortunately, in a power play that has everything to do with politics and money, an ally of Marie’s father claims Marie for his son instead: the Prince of Montpensier (Grégoire Leprince-Ringuet). Marie is understandably upset and defiant, but her mother explains that Marie has no choice but to comply: love has no place in a marriage and, in fact, the less love there is, the less bother.

Enter the Prince of Montpensier’s tutor, the Comte de Chabannes (Lambert Wilson). He has become a conscientious objector to the war, and because he works for the Prince, he teaches Marie while the Prince is away at battle. He also falls in love with her, despite his philosophical, practically monastic lifestyle. Unfortunately, when the Duc D’Anjou (Raphaël Personnaz), who’s second in line to the French throne, comes to visit, he also falls in love with Marie. Thus, the jealous, rivalrous love quadrangle begins.

Unfortunately for Princess, and for the audience, what should be a sexy, intellectual quadrangle isn’t any fun. Thierry mostly pouts her way through the movie, and I was (perhaps intentionally) reminded of Paris Hilton showing up to a party in period costume. Leprince-Ringuet, as her husband the Prince, sounds like his voice hasn’t broken yet, and while the point might be that he’s no real threat to Marie's would-be lover, Henri, the actor Ulliel looks like Crispin Glover trying to be Johnny Depp. In other words, these are not sexy people, and believing that they’re all caught up in a sexy love thang is impossible. This inevitably leaves one with the historical context of the film, which is so obscure to us Americans (at least this American) that I found myself not caring what happened to anybody.

Two Patches out of Five

Overheard in the Ladies Room:

“Did you like the movie?”

“It was okay. I liked the costumes. Did you like it?”

“I thought the girl who played the Princess was beautiful. Amazing lips.”

“Yeah. I guess.  I thought the costumes were beautiful.”

“Okay, well… Have a great day.”

“You, too.  Take care.”