Our Kids-Using Drugs and Alcohol to Cope? Part I.

Let’s face it, teens these days in communities like Lamorinda experience pressure to succeed. Some work really hard and experience success. Others don’t and are able to adjust.

But many kids find themselves imploding due to any number of personal, academic or family issues and grasp at alcohol, pills or illegal drugs just to get through their lives. Some parents recognize the signs and address the behavior, others see it as normal teenage experimentation and turn a blind eye. Some have mixed feelings about setting standards for their teenage children in the area of drugs when they themselves actively participated in drug experimentation and would feel like hypocrites if they were to have different rules for them.

Sometimes they say nothing at all, hoping that all will work out well, as it may have with themselves and their friends.

When I remind them that the drugs which are available to their children are stronger by far than those with which they might have dabbled they often get anxious and begin to flip-flop in their parenting style, sometimes becoming suddenly very strict, which then confuses and angers their children. Sometimes these parents tell me they think it is too late. They have never taught their children to moderate their pleasure-seeking behavior, and now that they are teens the parents feel they are out of their control.

There is nothing sadder for me that seeing parents settle in to watch their child's demise without a fight. For some of them, there is a hopelessness and belief that the child will come to some horrible end. By this time they feel so powerless and have so much fear around upsetting the child that they have become ineffectual. The cause of the substance dependency (low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, etc.) never gets addressed and therefor doesn’t improve.  

These issues are real in our community and in Part II options will be explored for addressing them.

Do you think the drug/alcohol problem has gotten worse over the years in Lamorinda?

What do you think is effective in influencing your kids to deal with their problems directly instead of turning to substances for escape