What Matters to Us: What’s the Point?

 Maybe it’s the weather or the time of year with school ending and season changes, but the theme for this week seemed to be “What’s the point?”  People in a depressed state ask that question a lot, but so do the rest of us when we are working too hard or things don’t seem to be working out the way we’d expected.  It can actually be what causes those depressed people to feel that way – an emptiness or feeling that what one does isn’t meaningful.  For some, the longer it stays gloomy and cold out the harder it is to fight off. 

Life certainly presents its challenges and seems to be getting more and more complicated.  I’m not sure, if we were living a hundred years ago, life would be simpler or more difficult. 

• We would have to work harder physically without machines doing so much for us.  We’d know what a chicken looks like with its feathers still attached instead of in neat packages labeled according to parts. 
• We might know our neighbors by name and even the details of their lives.
• We probably couldn’t live in isolation because we’d need each other. 
• We wouldn’t all be traveling solo in cars or ordering our goods from a machine in our lap. 
• There would be a marketplace where we would see familiar faces regularly. 
• We’d have to wonder about people we love who are far away or wait weeks for a letter.  We might never see them again.
• We’d have to talk to each other in the evenings, as there would be nothing to stare at in distraction. 
• But we might get sick and live shorter lives. 
• We might not even expect all our children to live, so we’d have larger families. 
• Maybe houses would be more affordable, but income would be unimaginably small

But that was then, this is now.  The high points of the past always look appealing if we ignore the shortcomings that balanced out the picture.

Today we are living in an age of immediacy.  It’s great, and it’s awful. 

• Super to have needs met so quickly, except for the expectation it sets up for that to be ongoing. 
• Wonderful to have such a long life expectancy due to the advancements in medicine and diagnostic technology, but can the planet handle that many people?  Or what if the doctors can keep us alive but Alzheimer’s becomes as common on our block as allergies? 
• Our children have every opportunity to learn and advance but may not feel hopeful about the future because they know about the condition of the planet and can’t imagine what they can do to effect change.  They worry, they just don’t talk about it.
• The Internet has become central to our lives but also presents more opportunities for dangerous interactions, especially for children.

So yes, sometimes it is hard to make sense of it all.  We are here and many of us believe it is for a reason.  Most would like to leave something behind, a legacy of some sort.  For some it is monetary.  Many of those who were so careful with their finances after living through WWII and the depression have left legacies to two or even three generations.  Some people feel they must accomplish great things and leave their mark, their names becoming immortal.  Others take the route of cheaply bought immortality by partaking in reality shows which most often demonstrate the very emptiness they are seeking to escape.  People tell me they watch those programs religiously in order to feel better about their own lives.  Most of us want to be seen. Not seen by everyone, but seen by at least a select few who understand and support us even when we are difficult.

So what IS the point of it all?  That’s up to each of us to consider.  I personally don’t think it has to do with achievement as much as connection.  We’ve all had those moments (and often they are only moments) of wondrous connection.  Someone is speaking to you and it seems they understand your experience to the core without having shared a word about yourself.  That moment you look into your child’s eyes very closely and see not only aspects of yourself, but also a future version of that child with all its uniqueness.  Even in one of those crazy-making days of trying to help an elderly parent that is struggling but won’t allow the help, there are meaningful moments. It could all be so much easier if only everyone would listen to what we think they should do.  But no, from baby to grandma everyone has a desire to figure out life by his or her own experiences and our best efforts often go unappreciated.  Still, it is in the being there, the complex connecting with others that we discover what it’s all about.  In the shared suffering, common laughter and revealed embarrassing moments that we finally come home.

What makes it all worthwhile for you?

If you would, share a moment that made a difference in your life. (It will probably resonate with someone you don’t even know.)