Student Writes: 'Lamorinda Nudes Dropbox Must Come Down'

The following post was first published Jan. 9 in The Mirador, the online newspaper for Miramonte High School, written by sophomore staff writer Sofia Ruiz. The follow-up Feb. 18 Letter to the Editor was submitted to The Mirador by Elizabeth Perlman, executive director of The Intuitive Writing Project.

By Sofia Ruiz:

“Like trading cards”? That’s the title of a dropbox site full of explicit pictures of girls from the Lamorinda area. It has been active for several years now, and has over 520 pictures.

The link is mostly shared among male students, and some even receive it for their birthdays. Some girls are in possession of the link as well. Boys post pictures that they have received from girls that the girls have taken themselves. Other times the boy has taken the photo himself, or he screenshots a facetime or snapchat conversation. Although boys don’t generally voice their distaste of the site, many girls tend to be uncomfortable with the thought of their peers being nothing more than “trading cards.”

So far, people have turned a blind eye to it. Students hear about the website and its content, they develop their personal opinion about it, express their views to whoever is with them at the time, and then carry on with their lives.

But the real question is: Should it continue to be ignored? Teenagers sending explicit photos to each other is nothing new.

There are reports all over the United States of girls’ pictures being spread around their schools. But this website is different because it is not an isolated incident; some girls have several pictures on the site, and the list has been growing.

According to to the United States Department of Justice, “Child pornography is a form of child sexual exploitation.

Federal law defines child pornography as any visual depiction of sexually explicit conduct involving a minor (persons less than 18 years old).” According to this definition, this dropbox is a compilation of child pornography.

“Federal law prohibits the production, distribution, importation, reception, or possession of any image of child pornography,” and therefore, this dropbox is illegal, and “convicted offenders face fines [and/or] severe statutory penalties.”

The main problem lies in the boys that upload the pictures. Boys must respect girls that trust them enough to send intimate photos. When a guy uploads a picture a girl has sent him he is breaking the trust she placed in him and shows a lack of empathy and morals. If someone trusts you, respect that.

Delete the photos if the urge to post them is too great. But one must have respect for others, especially people that have shared photos of themselves. To stop this trend, girls also need to understand that private photos they send to boys may not always stay private.

Although it would be nice to trust everyone, taking people into our confidence is a risk because they can violate that trust.

Girls should never feel pressured to send compromising pictures of themselves. As cliché as it sounds, whatever goes on the internet stays there forever, and if a guy uploads a photo of you to a site, it will never go away.

Guys sometimes harass girls for nude photos, even after a girl has made it clear she does not want to send any. This is most often done through text or apps like snapchat. This needs to stop, because it is a disgraceful practice and can lead to private photos being shared on a larger scale, such as on this dropbox.

This dropbox, and websites like it, should be shut down, even if that means law enforcement intervening. It exploits girls’ trust and reflects poorly on what we as a community find acceptable; it is a truly shameful thing. Hopefully, those who created this site will come to their senses, and take the site down themselves. -

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Letter to the Editor of The Mirador:

From Elizabeth Perlman
February 18, 2015

I would like to salute the courage and leadership of Miramonte’s journalism student, Sofia Ruiz, for her important work in researching and writing the article, “Lamorinda Nudes Dropbox Must Come Down.”

As The Atlantic Monthly established several months ago,* the practice of teen sexting has become a national epidemic from which no high school is immune. And yet, like so many problems, it’s only a symptom of something else. Our challenge is to look beneath the surface and learn from it, to use this situation as an opportunity for growth. Dysfunction can only thrive in secret. Through open, honest conversation, all things return to balance.

The first question to ask is why girls believe they have to share naked pictures of themselves in the first place? I’ve heard it dismissed as either “no big deal” or “empowering,” but neither of these responses go deep enough.

Today we can’t talk about power or empowerment without considering the larger context, the fact that we are just now emerging from millenniums of gender inequality, a situation in which women were reduced to the role of object or servant. It was a sad business and both men and women have suffered because of it. Now, of course, we’re ready to be done with it. But something so entrenched can’t be erased overnight. Even as we work to change the paradigm, it’s still being played out in social media, music videos, commercials, print ads, reality TV and what sociologist Frank Furedi has called the “pornographication” of popular culture.

While we don’t have to buy into it, we can’t ignore it either. Degrading images are everywhere, seeping into our unconscious minds (as only visual images can) and twisting our perception of “normal.” In this instance, girls unconsciously accept their objectification, while boys unconsciously demand it; everyone says they’re fine and everyone secretly knows they’re not. But if we want to stop being manipulated by unconscious forces, we have to become conscious of them. That starts with becoming conscious of ourselves, of what we’re feeling and needing from one moment to the next.

When you are allowed to feel what you feel—to be aware of yourself—you understand yourself: who you are, what you need and how to live with compassion and integrity. But when you are not allowed to feel what you feel, you become disconnected from yourself: confused about your needs and easily manipulated and controlled by others.

I believe we are powerful because we can feel and because we can imagine and because we can love. Love is the only real power. Everything else is just playing a game.

No healthy girl feels empowered by pornographic depictions of her body. Likewise, no healthy boy can enjoy a real connection with a girl whose body is reduced to a pornographic object. Every girl deserves to be loved, cherished and respected for who she is as a human being, just as every boy deserves to have a loving, respectful, grounded relationship with the person he adores. Like brightly colored candy, pornographic images titillate without nourishing. In the end, they just make everyone feel worse. And yet, you have to be supported in recognizing your feelings, before you can recognize something unhealthy.

This is not a discussion about nudity. (The human body is beautiful and deserving of reverence.) This is a discussion about what we’re feeling—and actually needing—when we make certain irreversible choices. Afterall, sometimes we think we’re hungry when we’re actually thirsty. And sometimes we crave junk food when we’re actually needing love.

We all need to be loved, accepted, and respected. The strategies we employ to meet these needs may be misguided—even dangerous or destructive—but the needs remain strong and always valid.

It is time for both girls and boys to stand in their strength and integrity and demand the kind of love and respect that is their birthright. And it is time for all of us to talk about what matters to us, what we value, what we long for, what we need to lead meaningful lives.

This conversation is so much bigger than sexting. This conversation is about creating a new way of living and relating with each other in the world.

In the words of the author Doe Zantamata, “In a world full of fear, be courageous… The world sees you. The world hopes for you. The world is inspired by you. The world can be better because of you.”

*http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/11/why-kids-sext/380798/3/

Elizabeth Perlman is the founder and Executive Director of The Intuitive Writing Project, an educational nonprofit that supports girls in finding their voice, discovering their strengths, and realizing their capacity for leadership.