"It's not you, it's me." It's a classic. It's supposed to relieve you that the relationship has failed not because you're a dick but because she's some how at fault. It's usually a lie. But if you're a Super-Villain, it's ALWAYS a lie. The key is your chosen profession. Things that makes you good at your job (lying, cheating, stealing, violent tendencies, monologuing) are very often the opposite of what a woman values in a union.
And if you're a costumed (seriously, how does Luthor screw this up?) Super-Villain you're behind in the count before you even get to bat. However, even these odds can be overcome with some thoughtful foresight and determined compartmentalization. Counter intuitive, I realize but you're reading this blog because without kidnapping and mind-control you're at home alone on weekends watching Cinemax After Dark.
You have to start pouring some of that energy used creating elaborate shark-themed deathtraps into something more productive. Find out what she likes and try not to make it obvious you stole it when you give it to her. And don't go overboard. Don't drop the QE II in her lap because she says she likes boats. Baby steps. Next, do your best to emulate regular human behavior. It sounds difficult but an easy rule of thumb is think about how you would normally do things and then do the opposite. This almost always results in regular human behavior. You may feel queasy and uncomfortable but unless you're really into Cinemax After Dark, you'll tough it out.
Once you've established regular human-esque behavior, you can get to work on connecting with her in a way that she can accept. Making this connection is the key to the beginning of acceptance. You've got a long way to go but you've got a foot in the door now and she hasn't called 911. We can work with this.
