Burger King Announces Antibiotic-Free Chicken for 2017

Burger King Announces Antibiotic-Free Chicken for 2017: Fast-food chains Burger King and Tim Hortons announced that next year they will begin serving only chicken raised without the use of antibiotics. They really had no choice. Hell, when the Republicans get done with Obamacare - those chickens won’t be able to afford antibiotics anyway.

Russian Hackers Have Penetrated U.S. Electricity Grid: US officials are now warning that Russian hackers have penetrated the US electricity grid through a utility in Vermont. While most US officials expressed grave concern, Donald Trump used the incident as an opportunity to heap lavish praise on Vladimir Putin and his computer skills, adding that at some point - he may ask Putin if he’ll take a look at his laptop which has been running just a tad slow lately.

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Prospective Buyer Finds Rotting Body in Detroit Home for Sale: A prospective buyer got more than they bargained for when they took a tour of a Detroit home that was up for sale and found a badly decomposed body inside a dust-covered car in the garage. Police say they’ll run tests to try and determine the sex, cause of death and who the individual may be. Alright, I’m gonna jump out on a limb here and guess its either Jimmy Hoffa or Amelia Earhart.

Kardashian-Jenner Family Donates 100 Gourmet Meals to Skid Row: According to sources, the Kardashian-Jenner family has donated 100 gourmet, chef-prepared meals to people in need on Skid Row, an impoverished area in downtown Los Angeles, California. A Kardashian spokesperson say the family struggled over whether the donation should be gourmet, chef-prepared meals or tickets to the opera. They finally decided on the gourmet meals because - while the opera did have some front row seating, no skid row seating was available for purchase.

Nike’s Self-Lacing Athletic Shoe Called Most Innovative: Wired magazine has labeled Nike’s self-lacing athletic shoe one of the 2016’s most innovative products and a serious feat of engineering. Perhaps, but let’s be honest folks, if you’re too lazy to even tie your own shoe laces, I really don’t think an “athletic shoe” is the shoe for you.

Korean Airlines Will Allow Crew to Use Taser Guns: Korean Air Lines (KAL) says it will now allow crew members to use taser guns on rowdy passengers following an incident in which singer Richard Marx was forced to wrestle an uncontrollable passenger mid-flight. So next time your flight attendant asks you to "please return your seat and tray to its full upright position," it might be a good idea to pay attention. And if this works as planned, the airline is also looking into the possibility of having staff both tase and neuter the parents of screaming babies. Airline officials say passengers would likely find the whole thing much more entertaining than most of those crappy inflight movies.

Woman Races Topless Through Store to Catch Peeping Tom: A Kansas women raced topless across a Kohl's department store in an effort to apprehend a man she caught videotaping her with his cellphone through a hole in the store's dressing room. I once had a friend who once reported a hole in the lady’s restroom door where she worked to her manager and he told her that he’d “look right into it.”

Study Finds Facebook Breaks Improve Mental Health: A new study found that people who take at least a week off from Facebook reported a better sense of well-being and life satisfaction, as well as less envy of others. I get it. I mean - what could be worse than being “unfriended” by one of your closest Facebook friends you’ve never even met?

Mormon Tabernacle Choir to Perform at Trump Inauguration: While many big-name performers have apparently been saying no to performing at the Donald Trump inauguration, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir has become one of the few well-known acts to say yes to the event. One thing’s for sure - that Tabernacle Choir sure has one gigantic organ there! Bet you'd have to have pretty big hands to play an organ that big correctly.

Elderly Woman Arrested in Early-Bird Special Buffet Brawl: A 62-year-old North Carolina woman has been charged with two counts of assault and battery and held on a $1,500 secured bond after she assaulted and injured two other senior citizens in an early-bird special buffet brawl. Wow, its Animal House on Social Security. On a positive note, at least everyone in the restaurant got treated to dinner and a show!

Mother Kills 9-Year-Old Son For Having Small Penis: Indonesian police say a woman drowned her nine-year-old son in the bathtub, claiming she was worried that his "small penis" would negatively affect his prospects for the future. What a shame the poor child didn’t grow up here in America - Land of Opportunity - where you can have a small penis and still become President - even if you didn't win the popular vote. Indonesian officials say the woman will be tried and then sent to a penal colony.

Justin Bieber Books Virgin Galactic Space Flight: Embattled teen heartthrob Justin Bieber and his manager have reportedly booked a $250,000 space flight on Richard Branson’s Virgin Galactic. Good grief, isn’t there enough trash floating around in space already?

Walnuts May Be Key to Ending Alzheimer’s: An international team of researchers in India may say their research shows eating a handful of walnuts each day may be a simple-yet-effective way to combat Alzheimer’s disease. Are you serious? Why that sounds like it’s just plain nuts to me.

http://www.johnnyrobish.com

Study Says Drinking Lots of Water When Sick Can Be Harmful: Doctors are warning that the common advice given to the sick to drink lots of water is wrong and can actually harm a person’s chances of recovery. Researchers say this is especially true when the water comes from Flint, Michigan.

Trump Fighting to Protect His Trademark in China: With everything from Trump condoms to Trump toilets available for sale, Donald Trump seems to be fighting a losing battle in an effort to protect his trademark in China. While I understand Trump’s concerns, I suppose Trump Toilets are an inevitable outcome when you’re about to become “Commoder-in-Chief.” And the Trump Toilet Company’s motto “Take a Dump in a Trump” probably doesn’t help much either. I’m sensing something like this could quickly become a big movement. On the other hand, I wouldn’t trust a Trump condom for anything - it’d just be too thin-skinned.