Chicken-Less Eggs Now on Sale at Whole Foods: Whole Foods stores in California have begun selling Beyond Eggs, a plant-based egg substitute made from ground-up peas. I thought, how could they possibly make eggs from peas - and then it hit me, they used “chickpeas.”
Everything Has Now Become Perfect: After I placed my order for a cafe latte and a muffin at my local coffee house, the 20-something female taking my order told me “perfect.” Call me old fashioned, but it kind of made me long for the good old days when things were simply “awesome” instead of “perfect.”
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Survey Finds Newspaper Reporter Worst Job: According to a recent survey from job website CareerCast.com, being a newspaper reporter is considered the worst job to have in 2016. Gee, kind of makes you wonder where “crack ho” appears on that list?
New Hard Drive Can Write Data On Individual Atoms: Researchers in the Netherlands have developed a way to store data on individual atoms, capable of packing 500 terabits onto a single square inch, enough to store every book ever written by humans on a surface the size of a postage stamp. Yea, well what happens if these poor atoms don’t want data stored on them? If you agree, please join me in supporting the new PETA affiliate for particle physicists - People for The Ethical Treatment of Atoms.
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Ancient Roman Soldier with Ornate Belt Discovered in UK Grave: Archaeologists report that the 1,600-year-old remains of a middle-age man buried alongside an ornate belt decorated with images of dolphins and dogs have been found in a grave in Leicester, England. Wow, that’s some belt! All I can say is, who knew pro wrestling went back that far?
Study Finds Your Pillow Has More Bacteria Than Toilet Seat: A new study found that the average pillow has more bacteria on it than your toilet seat. I don’t care, I’m still not sleeping on my toilet seat.
Arctic Sea Ice Levels Hits Record Low: As Arctic sea ice levels hit a new record low, scientists are gathering to discuss how to make the public understand that we are "really running out of time.” Nonsense, there’s still plenty of time - just not for humanity.
New Super-Potent Meth Found at Texas Middle School: Authorities in Texas have launched an investigation into the origin of a new, super-potent form of meth that wound-up in the hands of some Texas City middle schoolers. Local officials are warning drug dealers “don't meth with Texas.”
