Deadly Herpes Virus Threatening Pacific Oysters

Deadly Herpes Virus Threatening Pacific Oysters: A deadly herpes virus is threatening Pacific oysters, the world’s most popular and valuable oyster species - and scientists say it’s almost certain to spread more widely in our globally connected world. Oh great! Try explaining that one to your wife or your husband - that nasty case of herpes you have - you caught it from an oyster.

Blood Leaks Onto Road From Funeral Home: Neighborhood residents living in Baton Rouge, must have thought they were in the middle of a horror movie when they spotted a large pool of blood mixed with embalming fluid which had leaked out onto the street from a storage tank located behind the Greenoaks Funeral Home. Louisiana health officials warn that if the blood isn’t cleaned up in a timely manner, it could pose a serious health threat to nearby residents - because that much blood could very likely attract vampires to the area.

Skin Patch Melts Love Handles in Lab Mice: Science Daily reports that researchers have developed a medicated skin patch that dissolved fat in targeted areas of lab mice - and future testing could reveal that the patches may one day also treat things such as obesity and diabetes. Forget about treating obesity and diabetes for a minute - as far as I’m concerned, the big story here is that mice are actually burdened with love handles. Good grief, who knew it was an issue?

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Snow Leopard No Longer on Endangered List: In a controversial move, the International Union for Conservation of Nature (IUCN) has removed the snow leopard from the endangered species list for the first time in 45 years, changing its status to “vulnerable.” Those familiar with the decision say the organization had no choice as more and more snow leopards have transitioned from hunting and hiding out in the wild - to joining posh ski lodges and purchasing high-speed snowmobiles to assist them in catching their prey.

Cassini Burns Up in Saturn's Atmosphere: NASA reports Cassini has burned up like a meteor as it entered Saturn's atmosphere, ending its historic 13-year study of the ringed-planet system with a dramatic final plunge. NASA says that while it is true the Cassini craft has crashed into Saturn, there is no truth to the rumors it was being driven by Caitlyn Jenner.

Planets Orbiting Two Stars Found to Swap Stars: Astronomers are now suggesting that planets who orbit double stars may “swap” stars periodically, orbiting one for a while and then heading for another. So, it sounds like even planets have trouble with commitment.

Encyclopedia Britannica To Cease Print Edition: For the first time in 244 years, the world's most famous Encyclopedia Britannica has announced that it will no longer be making physical copies of its flagship reference books, switching to an all online service. And in an odd twist, Wikipedia announced they will be shutting down their website to concentrate on a hardcover version.

Ice Pick Used to Kill Trotsky Emerges After Decades: After disappearing from sight for more than 40 years, the bloodstained ice pick used by Stalinist assassin Jacques Mornard to kill Leon Trotsky will soon go on public display at Washington’s International Spy Museum. Some may question whether or not the blood on the weapon is really Trotsky’s, but the museum curator told them “hey, don’t get picky.”

Martin Shkreli to Be Jailed Over Hillary Clinton Threat: Pharma Bro Martin Shkreli was ordered jailed in light of what a judge termed the “danger inherent in Shkreli's Facebook recent post” offering a $5,000 reward to anyone who snags-off a lock of Hillary Clinton's hair. Sounds like the only “lock” Mr Shkreli can expect from this point on will be the lock closing tightly on his jail cell door.

http://www.johnnyrobish.com

Georgia Man Shoots Wandering Elderly Man With Alzheimer’s: A 34-year-old Walker County, Georgia man shot and killed a 72-year-old man he assumed was a prowler on his porch, but who turned out an elderly man with advanced Alzheimer's disease. A check of local ordinances found that under Georgia law, the only time its justified to shoot someone who’s on your porch is when they’re Jehovah's Witnesses or possibly Girl Scouts pushing cookies - and then only if they’re completely out of Thin Mints.

Ted Cruz Claims It Wasn’t Him Who Liked Porn Video: The controversy over Ted Cruz’s personal Twitter account “liking” a hardcore porn video continues after the Republican senator from Texas doubled down on his denial, claiming it wasn’t he, but actually an unnamed staffer who did it. Well, the Bible does say in (Ps. 23:4) “thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.” Who knew just how much comfort that would entail? Anyway, go ahead and deny it all you want, but just remember Ted - every time you masturbate to pornography - Jesus kills a little puppy. I suggest the good senator try exercising a little “Cruz Control” in the future.

Trump Blames Cell Service for Failure to Call Mexico: President Donald Trump has claimed the reason he did not reach out to Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto immediately after the country’s huge, devastating earthquake was that there was no cellphone reception in Mexico. Probably just didn’t wanna pay roaming charges. Too bad he didn’t call though, because word has it that Mexico has finally decided they’ll pay for Trump’s - impeachment.