Hackers Launch Massive Attack Via Home Devices Infected With Malware

Hackers Launch Massive Attack Via Home Devices Infected With Malware: Hackers have used a malware to infect tens of millions of home appliances and devices which they then used to launch an attack on a company which manages internet traffic, blocking or slowing access to major internet sites all across the internet. Well, if that’s the case, on behalf of both me and my programable toaster oven, I’d like to send out a heartfelt apology to internet users around the world for any inconvenience they may have experienced.

Trump Will Accept Election Results If He Wins: After famously refusing to state whether he would accept election results if he lost, Donald Trump told a rowdy crowd of followers in Delaware, Ohio that “I will accept the results of the election, if I win.” Which is kind of ironic when you consider the way things are going with the Trump campaign, about the only way this election could be considered “rigged” would be if Trump somehow wins.

http://www.johnnyrobish.com

Tesla Now Equipping Every Car To Go Completely Driverless: Electric automaker Teslas announced it will now equip all its vehicles, including its first affordably priced car Model 3, with the hardware needed for fully autonomous driving. Not to be outdone by upstart Tesla, Ford announced it will soon introduce cars which will be not only driverless, but also riderless. BMW on the other hand, pointed out that while their vehicles may not be driverless, many of the people driving their cars could be considered clueless.

US Boys Entering Puberty Sooner Than Ever: The American Academy of Pediatrics released a large-scale study revealing that boys in the United States are now entering puberty sooner than ever before. In related news, Wall Street reports that porn industry stocks have just tripled in value.

T-Mobile Fined for Phony Unlimited Plans: Federal regulators are slapping T-Mobile with millions in fines and other requirements for luring in customers with misleading advertising about “unlimited” data plans which really weren't unlimited. Oddly, it turned out that about the only thing “unlimited in T-Mobile’s plans was their BS.

New Nissan Leaf Offers Improved Mileage Range: Engineers say they have boasted the mileage range on the new all-electric Nissan Leaf from 124 miles to 155 miles on a single charge. Interesting, because I once asked a Nissan dealer why the mileage range on their Leaf was so low, and he told me “look pal, that’s our car - take it or Leaf it.”

Treasury Rules Out Trillion Dollar Platinum Coin: In response to an idea being floated by some journalists, the Treasury says it will not be minting a trillion-dollar platinum coin to get around the debt ceiling and pay off the government's bills. Good thing! Can you imagine the carnage that would occur if someone put one of those in a vending machine and it started spitting out change?

Wild Monkeys Found Making Sharp Stone Tools: Scientists studying the stone-smashing habits of bearded capuchin monkeys in Brazil have found that the primates inadvertently produce stone flakes, very similar to the flakes used as cutting tools by early humans. In fact, the tools are considered so well-crafted, Sears has reportedly decided to replace their entire Craftsman brand with Capuchin Monkey Tools by 2018.

Two Dark Moons Hiding In The Rings Of Uranus: New analysis of Voyager 2 data from back in 1986, have revealed a pattern which some feel may indicate the presence of a pair of small, dark moons hiding within the rings of Uranus. Guess that explains why I’ve felt so uncomfortable sitting on hard surfaces lately. Its being reported NASA has already decided to name them Hemorrhoids #1 and #2.

Ecuador Confirms Cutting Julian Assange’s Internet Access: Ecuador has confirmed that it cut off internet access to Julian Assange, the founder of the whistleblowing site WikiLeaks, stating it believed he was using it to interfere in the US presidential election. Why not just transfer his internet service to Charter Communications? Hell, they’re always down anyway.

Columbus May Not Have Been First to America: A new investigation concluded that Italian explorer John Cabot may have had knowledge of European expeditions to the "New World" which predated Columbus' 1492 voyage. Researchers say evidence shows earlier expeditions may have actually discovered what is now Cleveland, which would pretty much explain why everyone wanted to keep it quiet.

PETA Criticizes Beyoncé for Wearing Leather Costume: Animal rights organization PETA has once again criticized Beyoncé for appearing onstage in a costume made entirely out of leather. In Beyoncé’s defense, from the looks of her outfit, even if she was wearing all leather - she certainly wasn’t wearing all that much of it.

Man Tries to Steal Car Using Spray Deodorant: According to local police, a man attempted to steal a car in the Lake Elsinore, California area by spraying deodorant into the car owner’s eyes. The victim said the whole thing caught him by surprise, pointing out that its pretty difficult to smell a rat through all that deodorant. Police report the thief tried attempting to make a fresh and clean getaway by heading into an amusement park, but was busted with his aerosol on the carousel.

Telescope Images Ring Of Dust Surrounding Black Hole: Astronomers using a telescope attached to a modified Boeing 747SP aircraft have captured new images of a ring of dust seven light-years in diameter surrounding the super-massive black hole at the center of the Milky Way. All I can say is, you’ve got a pretty serious dust problem when you need to use a super-massive black hole to vacuum it all up.

Britain's First Double Hand Transplant a Success: Several months after he became the UK's first double hand transplant, doctors say the 57-year-old patient is doing fantastic and are labeling the operation a “tremendous success.” In fact, the surgery was so successful, the patient is now able to use either hand to give the insurance company who refused to pay for the operation the finger.

Iranian Cleric Blames Women’s Outfits for Earthquakes: A senior cleric in Iran warns that a terrible earthquake is on the way and that it's all because of women who wear revealing clothing. Get real! I mean if women wearing skimpy outfits really caused earthquakes, wouldn’t Hollywood be getting devastated by massive temblors on a daily basis?

Mars Mission Astronauts Could Experience Brain Damage: A new study found that Mars mission astronauts could experience brain damage due to harmful radiation from galactic cosmic rays. To minimize the impact, only former NFL players will be allowed to apply.

Marlee Matlin Responds To Trump Calling Her Retarded: Oscar-winning actress Marlee Matlin took to Twitter to address recent reports that Donald Trump mocked her out for being deaf during her stint as a contestant on Celebrity Apprentice, and referred to her as “retarded.” Ironically, when it comes to Trump supporters, all of this is gonna fall on deaf ears.

Hubble Telescope Locates Blue Planet: Astronomers say they have spotted a giant blue planet orbiting a star 63 light-years away that has daytime temperatures of over 2,000 degrees. And while that may seem insanely hot to some, NASA says nighttime temperatures do appear to be a slight bit cooler.

Study Finds Humans are Wired for Grammar: A new study claims that human beings are already hard-wired at birth for grammar such as where adjectives, nouns and numerals should occur. If its really true that we’re “wired” for grammar, I can think of a few people who probably ought to think about calling in an electrician.

http://www.johnnyrobish.com

Scientists Find Planet Orbiting Very Young Star: An international team of scientists report that for the first time, they have discovered a planet which is orbiting a star that is only a few million years old. While scientists were hesitant to say much else about the find, Donald Trump’s science advisor is describing the star as very young and extremely hot.

Bob Dylan Wins Nobel Prize for Literature: In a rather surprising move, Bob Dylan has been awarded this year’s Nobel Prize for literature. Wow, a pop singer wins for literature - guess the times, they are a chang’in. When asked to comment about this year’s Nobel Prize winner, novelist Dan Brown said “all I know is it ain’t me babe.”