Arts & Entertainment
Man Sues Foster's Beer for Not Really Being Australian
A satirical look at current events!
Man Sues Foster’s Beer for Not Really Being Australian: In the latest controversy over imported beers, a New York City man is suing Foster’s beer for an allegedly false portrayal of its product as originating in Australia. No big deal, I kind of made peace with that shortly after I learned that Mars bars don’t come from Mars. Personally, I have no problem calling Foster’s Australian, its labeling it beer that I consider a bit of a stretch.
Trump Launches Crude Attacks on Hillary Clinton: During a recent speech in Grand Rapids, Donald Trump attacked Hillary Clinton by using crude references to male genitalia as well as labeling her returning late from the restroom during a commercial break as disgusting. Say what you want, but if you ask me, nonsense like this is precisely why aliens don’t wanna contact us.
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Montana Man Threatens Student Who Divulged Star Wars Plot: Police report that a Montana man has been arrested on suspicion of threatening to shoot a student for divulging the plot line and ending from the newly released Star Wars movie on Facebook. Thank goodness, finally a rational use for a gun. Now for heaven’s sake, lock that kid up until everyone’s seen the movie.
Study Claims Dogs and Wolves Spilt 33,000 Years Ago: A newly published study analyzed the entire genome sequences of various wolves and dogs from around the world and determined that the two animals spit part approximately 33,000 years ago in the southern part of eastern Asia. With that complete, researchers say their next project is to translate those 33,000 years into dog years.
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Trump Supporter Arrested for Planning to Bomb Muslims: Police in Richmond, California, have arrested an ardent Trump supporter who vowed to “follow Trump to the end of the earth,” days after receiving a tip that the 55-year-old was building homemade explosives with the intent of targeting the local Muslim community. Look, its getting to the point where somebody really needs to ask, “if two Trump supporters were to marry, would they still considered brother and sister?”
Florida Police Find Mobile Meth Lab in Back Of Mazda SUV: When Florida cops responded to a shoplifting call at a St Augustine Walmart, they discovered that the suspect also was operating a mobile meth lab in the back of his Mazda CX7 SUV. Why in the hell would anybody put a meth lab in the back of a Mazda SUV? Now if he was really smart, he’d have been driving a Ford Escape.
Study Says Fecal Transplants Show Promise: A new study has found that an infusion of feces from a healthy person into an ailing patient’s gut was more effective than antibiotic treatment. That said, doctors are cautioning people not to take crap from just anyone.
