Arts & Entertainment
Three Men Struck by Lightening at Florida Nude Beach
A satirical look at current events!
Three Men Struck by Lightening at Florida Nude Beach: The Miami Herald reports that three men have been hospitalized after being struck by lightning at Haulover Beach in Miami, which is America’s largest public nude beach. Wow, sounds like one hell of a weenie roast! Despite the nudity, Florida officials say they see no reason to categorize the lightening as a sex offender. Officials further added that this incident probably wouldn’t have happened had these men complied with Florida’s stand your “ground” laws.
New Habitat for Big Cats Who Worked at MGM Grand: Dozens of lions once used to entertain tourists at the MGM Grand Hotel have a new gig at the recently opened Lion Habitat Ranch near Henderson, Nev. For anyone wishing to see the big cats in their new surroundings, there’s a small cover charge and a two elk minimum.
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Many Americans Skipping Doctor Visits: According to figures from a new Consumer Reports survey, more than 60% of Americans said they skipped a doctor’s visit in the past year because of cost. Which - if true is very sad - of course there’s always the possibility that those figures have been doctored.
NY Prosecutor Admits Acting in 70’s Porn Films: Mark Suben, a prosecutor in upstate New York, admits that he lied during the campaign about having acted in pornographic movies back in the 1970s. And while voters usually demand full disclosure from their politicians, I think in this case we can make an exception.
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Dr Mudd’s Decedents Visit Prison Where He Was Held: Wearing “Free Dr. Mudd” T-shirts, about 80 descendants the doctor who was imprisoned after splinting the broken leg of President Abraham Lincoln’s assassin, marked the anniversary of his arrival at the prison by visiting the isolated Gulf of Mexico fort where he was held. Now I’m no expert on the Criminal Justice System, but their protest just feels like its about 150 years too late. That said, it really doesn’t matter whether he was actually guilty or innocent - his name is still Mudd.
Russian Physicist Suspected of Spying in Germany: A Russian 28-year-old physicist who worked for a top German research institute specializing in quantum optics, is suspected of spying for Moscow between 2009 and 2011. If convicted, he could end up doing some serious space-time.
FBI Agent Accused Of Using Tax Dollars For Prostitutes: An undercover FBI agent has been accused in court documents of spending U.S. taxpayer dollars on prostitutes in the Philippines during an international weapons trafficking probe. Wow, guess it takes a G-Man to find the G-Spot.
NASA Says Earth-Like Planet Discovered: NASA scientists announced that they’ve discovered an Earth-like planet some 1,400 light-years away orbiting in a habitable zone of a G2-type star similar to the sun. While on the surface this sounds like great news, astronomers caution that even if the planet happens to be populated with intelligent beings, we’d probably hate their music.
