Bring your Blindfold to Fifty Shades of Grey

I took my husband to a screening of Fifty Shades of Grey last night. He liked it more than I did. I asked him why and he said, “The admission was free and the girl in the movie was really cute and undressed a lot”. I liked the free part too and I think Dakota Johnson as Anastasia the Submissive was super cute. While my husband liked her out of her clothes, I was hoping I could find out who the designer of the dress she wore in the college graduation scene is. It was a really pretty shade of blue and I have this event coming up in the Spring and I think the dress would be perfect.

By now you must know Fifty Shades of Grey is the story of Gazillionare Christian Grey, who pursues an erotic relationship with fresh-faced college student, Anastasia Steele. She has a 4.0 in English Literature and he has his own private helicopter. Do these two kids even have a shot at a future together?

You don’t need to know anything more. The plot of the book was so thin, and the writing so clunky I put my copy down after 18 pages and asked my husband to get one of his ties and secure it as blindfold over my eyes, so I wouldn’t read any more. Still, I wanted to know how the story ends and that’s why we found ourselves at the screening last night, which felt more like an erotic book club meeting. I don’t even know if they have those, but I’m guessing attendance is always 100 percent.

The real reason I went to the movie is I wanted to see Christian Grey’s Man Cave known as the Red Room. “Red” is the safe word he instructs his Submissives to use if he whips them too hard, or if he screws their handcuffs on too tight. Love is complicated enough with all the messy feelings and hidden agenda, I can’t imagine adding tools and appliances to the mix. Plus you’d have to put all the whips and ropes away after you’re done, and chances are the Dominator is a neat freak, so everything has to go back in its designated place. I’d never make it as a Submissive; I can’t even properly fill the top rack of our dishwasher. I’m just too lazy. All I can say is: just be thankful the only thing your husband wants in his man cave is a big screen TV.

My husband thought much of the script was unrealistic, like when Christian buys Anastasia a new car, computer and wardrobe but doesn’t pony up and replace her crappy flip phone. This guys is supposed to be a savvy businessman, you’d think he’d take advantage of one of those Friends and Family plans.

I was pleasantly surprised at how many times I laughed during the movie. I hadn’t expected so much comic relief. Not everyone saw the humor, so I stifled my giggles, but while doing so I bit my lip, which started to bleed, and that’s when I began identifying with Anastasia. My lip stung so much, but it hurt in a good way and I was on the verge of calling out my safe word, “Good N’ Plenty”. Thankfully, my husband was able to gently, but forcefully place his trembling hand over my tortured mouth, but he wasn’t able to quiet me down enough, so I was gently, but firmly yanked from my seat and handcuffed by the two tall, dark and dangerous security guards. They lead me--against my will-- to an interrogation room where I was questioned by dominating, hunky and subtly sadistic detective….wait a minute, that’s not what happened.

Fifty Shades of Grey’s release date coincides with Valentine’s Day. I’m more of chocolate and roses kind of girl, but if collars and cuffs are your thing, this might be the perfect place for you and that special someone.

Read more: http://www.big1037fm.com/onair/celeste-perry-37828/fifty-shades-of-annoy...