Siblings can make for an effective caregiving team. In many cases they share a desire to take care of another beloved family member in the best ways possible. However, even though they may agree on the goal, they can have differences about how that is to be achieved. Finding ways to pull the differences together in a productive way can create a well-rounded caregiving routine that works for everyone concerned. But to do so it must be a system in which each person’s contributions complement those of others in talent as well as temperament.
Dividing tasks based upon who wants to do what is a good place to start. For example, if you don’t mind handling the bills you might take on that responsibility. Or if you live out of state perhaps online duties that can be accomplished from afar would be appropriate for you.
But if everyone wants to do the same specific job then decisions will have to be made. For example, can the job be subdivided or rotated or shared in another way that will be in the best interest of the one being cared for?
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If there are concerns and tensions, it’s a good idea to seek outside assistance to help you develop a structure that works for all, allowing each member of the family caregiving team to have a place at the table. Foundational ground rules will go a long way when it comes to addressing disagreements and quarrels that arise – and they will.
Tips for caregiving siblings:
• Be honest, frank and accommodating with each other. This builds respect and will help you discuss issues as they arise.
• Always be in a team. Although you may decide that there will be one primary caregiver, make sure to let all members participate. In this way you can support each other and make sure there are opportunities for breaks which will minimize burnout.
• Admire and appreciate. Each individual has strengths and weaknesses. Focus as often as possible on what each person does well. Caregiving can be a difficult situation for all concerning. A cup-half-full approach is going to go a long way in soothing feathers that may get ruffled by the unavoidable stresses and tension of caring for a loved one.
