The Case of a Compulsive Liar in a Divorce Trial

“Trust” is one of the most important foundations for a successful marriage. And when this has been broken, and you are affected with the realization that your partner is possibly a compulsive or pathological liar, it can lead down a very traumatic and emotional rollercoaster, possibly ending with a heated and complicated divorce – not only for the husband and wife, but also for the divorce attorneys, the judge, and everyone else that’s involved.

What is Compulsive Lying?

Many people get Compulsive liars and pathological liars confused, as they are very similar. The difference is that with compulsive lying, it’s lying out of habit, but pathological liars are mentally hindered from telling the truth.
Compulsive lying, as defined by Psychology Today, is “Characterized by a long history (maybe lifelong) of frequent and repeated lying for which no apparent psychological motive or external benefit can be discerned.”

So what are the steps to treating Compulsive Lying?

Some believe that there is a medical explanation for compulsive lying. According to a piece on Livestrong.com, “Compulsive liars have more white matter and less gray matter in their prefrontal cortex. The prefrontal cortex is the area of the brain that is accountable for decision making and behaving in a socially acceptable manner. Lower amounts of white matter are often found in individuals who cannot lie.”

Option #1: Medication

There are forms of medication mood stabilizers, antipsychotics and antidepressants that can help with the disorder. However, the person needs to continue to take the medication in order for it to be affective, and it’s not a guarantee cure.

Option #2: Counseling

Counseling sessions could be either solo, or together with the partner. Either method, it’s advisable to seek professional help for this to get the individual to admit the problem and work on their condition.

Option #3: Dialectical Behavior Therapy

As stated on Addition.LovetoKnow.com “This treatment required individual and group therapy sessions on a weekly basis. Also, the client completes homework assignments and works on developing social skills.”

Any of these potential treatments could theoretically be used in court for the affected individual. For example, these treatments could be used in a method of securing conditional custody or visitation rights, in the case of a child custody case.

Can a Compulsive Lying Defense Hold Up in Court in a Divorce Case?

Compulsive lying doesn’t have an official diagnosis. So it’s difficult to use this condition as a basis in legal battles. The Journal of American Academy of Psychiatry questions this dilemma with the following:
“A final question concerns whether a pathological liar is competent to stand trial. Could it be argued that the compulsively repeated lying prevents the pathological liar from effectively assisting his attorney in representing his case? Inability to present a consistent story and to bring relevant information to the attorney's attention is likely to confuse the attorney and impair the collaborative relationship between the defendant and his attorney.”

Realities about Compulsive Lying that Creates a Challenge in Court

The first reality is that Compulsive Liars Lack Empathy. The person in question lacks the moral consciousness that would keep a normal person from telling lies of this magnitude. The liar simply proceeds without regard to another person’s feelings or negative repercussions.

The second reality is that Compulsive Liars Lie for Unclear Motives. It might be hard to recognize a compulsive lie, because the intended gain could be purely emotional, and an immediate gain might be ambiguous. This is because these lies usually are usually to benefit the person’s self-esteem.

So what happens if you tried counseling, and the only solution that remains is a divorce? Below are some important steps that will prove effective in defense against a partner that is potentially a compulsive liar:

Step 1- Get rid of emotional shock & agony from the actions and stories from the liar. Remember that compulsive liars fib without any conscience. Being mentally prepared for this will help you with whatever your ex-partner throws at you, and you can calmly defend yourself.

Step 2 - Record the compulsive liar’s behavior and communication. During the discovery process of the divorce case, you should collect as much information as possible about other party through legally permissible ways. The Melanie Evans Narcissism and Relationship Blog supports this by stating: “Have the dates, make the relevant connections and bring these to light with authorities factually and calmly. You will find that the authorities see the truth, the patterns and the pathologies extremely easily.”

Step 3- Do you homework and uncover the truth! As the pathological liar starts building lies upon lies, it should be easier to prove the reality and expose the lies. If they say they were at the office that day, check the bank statements or Facebook posts. If they say that they have an alibi, check out that source yourself for potential holes.

The last element to consider in a divorce or child custody trial is that the best result that you can receive is a positive ruling in your favor. Assuming that your partner lied under oath, if you are hoping for a perjury case against your ex-partner, you might need to think again. The judge might decide to not go that route purely based on lack of time and the various complications within the case. On the HighconflictInstitute.com website, it explains the following: “Perjury is a criminal offense, punishable by fine or jail time, but it must be prosecuted by the District Attorney--who does not have the time. Family Court judges have the ability to sanction (fine) parties, but no time to truly determine that one party is lying. Instead, they may assume both parties are lying or just weigh their credibility. With no specific consequence, the risks of lying are low.”

Concluding Thoughts

Living with a pathological or compulsive liar can result in tragedy, and often the only conclusion and way out of troubled situation with a pathological liar is through divorce. And then you can hopefully sever the ties and move on towards a better life for yourself.

So you can either try to get your partner to heal themselves with some tested methods, but if you do end up going the distance with a divorce or custody trial, remember to keep your cool, collect your proof, and let the truth finally be uncovered. Remember that with lies stacked upon lies, it becomes harder to maintain the façade.

Finally, It’s important to get an experienced divorce attorney on your side to help you through the process. They can not only help speed up the divorce process, and also assist in uncovering the truth, but also possibly improve the chances for a better, more just settlement or court decision.

Feature Image courtesy of Joe Gratz