Patch Blog: Middle Age and An Empty Nest

Empty nest or not so empty!

Well it happened.  Our kids grew up (that’s debatable) and they moved out.  How did my little chicks grow up so fast?  When did that happen? I was their Mommy for a long time, and now I’m their Mom. I’m a mother of a 29, 26 and 25 year old. With them comes a 29 year old hubby, 30 year old girlfriend, and a 25 year old soon to be son-in-law and an 11 and 7 year old pair of grandkids.  They are gone.  Or are they?

For a very long time now there has been evidence of creatures that are in my house when I’m not home. I’m not sure what sort of creatures they are, but apparently they have keys.  I know when they have used my bathroom, my washing machine, my dishes, and all other sorts of household items.  What are these creatures called? They are called kids that come over to share the comforts of Dad and Mom’s house. We have cable, therefore I know when my kidlets have enjoyed cable TV. How do I know? Well one side of the bed (mine) is used. There’s a coke can on my end table, empty bags of food. When I turn my TV on, the channels are always on for Ultimate Fighting and Sports. Go figure.

Socks and undershirts of my husband go missing. My husband had 7 or 8 pairs of white socks, and then as of yesterday he only had 2. A Target run had to be made. I’m going to make a booby trap in his sock drawer. When I see one of these creatures with a booboo on their hand, (it would be either my son’s or grandson’s), I’ll know they are the sock stealer.

One day I was walking into my home and one of these creatures, (my youngest) had an armful of toiletries. I said “Oh you went shopping.” This creature said to me, I needed some things and I know that Dad gets a lot of these things for free. (He does. He is the ultimate Coupon King. We have a joke that he is going to be buried in a huge coffin that resembles his coupon box.) How many toothpastes, shampoos, and deodorants can we use by ourselves anyway, right?

What’s so funny about all of this is my kids moving out in October couldn’t have come at a worse time in my life. I got laid off and it so happened they were moving out at the same time (coincidence? What is it, me?). I thought wow; I’m going to be lonely. What am I going to do? I remembered many a time I would think to myself and sometimes out loud, I can’t wait for them to grow up and move out.  But then it happened.  It came way too soon. I wasn’t prepared. Are you ever? Here it comes, THE EMPTY NEST SYNDROME I’ve always dreaded. Guess what, it wasn’t that bad.

As you read the above story, it sounds like I’m complaining. But I’m not. It’s great, it’s wonderful. I take it as they still need me. I’m still their mom and this is still their home. Recently two of my kids were sick at separate times. They came over and just wanted to crash at our home. My son still comes home every day (part of that is because his drums are at my house and he has to practice for his performances.) I tell him to leave his drums here. He likes my cooking. Well that’s what he tells me and judging by the way he wolfs it down, he likes it or he is just too broke for groceries. I’m going with the theory that he likes my cooking.

I see our girls almost on a daily basis.  I still want to be their mom. I know I am their mom, but I still NEED to be their mom. I loved being their mom when they were little, when they needed me more physically.  What’s nice about being their mom in this period of our lives, is I’m there for them emotionally. They are my friends. I like being their mom now more than ever. I laugh more around them. These creatures are funny.  

If you are a parent with kids moving out - I’m sure some of you are going to experience this if you have kids going away for college this summer – share some of your empty nest stories.  Don’t be afraid be happy. This is your time of your life. You worked hard. I think I’m going to start painting their deep purple and bright turquoise and hot pink bedrooms into a softer color and make it something desirable for guests, rather than use it for storage.  Maybe I’ll turn their rooms into a mini gym.  Nah!!!!!