A Time for Reflection

Never would I have thought that college application season would hit me so hard! It would have been nice if I had received a warning of some sort, but I guess that's why people say life isn't fair. 

Simple questions like "Why do you want to go to our college?" could take years for me to come up with an answer. Digging out the facts lying in my heart drove me to the brink of insanity. That question started to seem more like "What was so riveting about this college?" and "Why would I be spending hundreds and thousands of dollars in order to get one piece of paper that would determine my entire future?" This diploma, that I will also hold next year as a high school graduate, will create new paths and opportunities for me, yet I had no idea why I truly want it. Is it because of a successful future? Is it because the aspect of college was pushed down my throat ever since I was a little kid? 

Certainly, living with your family for all your life is a comforting yet a forgetful thought. To leave the people you have shared food with, argued about TV remote possession, laughed at inside jokes, and all that other family junk, is a horrendous idea. I have scoffed many times that I ever-so-wished to leave my house ASAP and go to the other side of the country. Now that the time is getting closer, that dreary wish of mine has become an untouchable fear.

Although I have not found an answer to that simple question, I have come to a conclusion that I need to gather my identities and find out what I truly want for myself. College applications are not only chances to boast about what I have done in the past but also chances to boast about what I will do in the future. Without the plans for my future, I know for a fact that I will not get into any of the colleges I have on my personal list. After all, the past is all in the past. It's the future that I worked my entire life for and will continue to do so.