Interpreter Seeks Mary Poppins

I don’t much take to , as those of you who know me might now (hi Dad); in fact, I find the whole idea of sarcasm suffocating, like an underwater panic attack. But when Alex came along, clearly buzzed from some fun in the sun , it was hard to tell if he was being serious or not. However, after finding out that he wants a domesticated house bunny, I realized his motives were sincere … just as long as his image of perfection didn’t include the recently OC housewife and a garbage disposal. 

Name: Alex F.

Age: 40

Occupation: Interpreter

Current Location: Montrose

Relationship Status: Single

Interested In: A curvaceous with Top Chef skills.

Tell me about yourself. Any hobbies or interests?

Yes. I like to interview with people when I can.

Ah … sarcasm. Got it.

I like to travel. My family is in Argentina and I just got back. I am looking to buy a place there. I work as a Spanish/English interpreter so I have an easy schedule for . 

Where do you work?

Here in Montrose for mostly. Right now, I live in the Eagle Rock area. Prior to that, I lived in La Crescenta for three years.

Oh, I see. What places do you visit when you are working in the area? 

At least once a week during my lunch break, I go to sushi. It doesn’t even matter which place. They all happen to be good in Montrose. But I would say has the best lunch specials. Come to think of it, why is sushi so good around here? It’s not like we are near the water.

Maybe they drive the sushi here in an iced truck.

You mean they don’t swim here on the 2 freeway? 

Do people have a hard time wondering if you are ever being serious?

I don’t know what you mean.

I will take that as a yes. If you had to choose only three qualities in a woman, what would they be?

I don’t like tiny girls who have no curves. I like a woman to physically look like a woman and not a 10-year-old boy.

So, you probably would never go out with me.

Not likely. Sorry. 

Be careful. My isn’t my best feature. What else do you look for in a girl? Besides thick skin.

No pun intended. 

Nice one.

Thanks. I would have to say that she would need to be domestic. And I don’t mean she has to wait on me. I just like the idea of a woman being a woman at home and a man doing what he does.

What is that exactly?

Working. I don’t know. I am old-fashioned, but I have a ton of respect for women. Don’t get me wrong. 

Don’t worry. Women’s lib is so overrated. Have you ever been ?

Long ago, yes. 

How was it?

It was awesome. We are still together.

And I thought I was sarcastic. Is that a cover for some painful childhood memory?

I don’t know is it?

Yes.

People in this world—

—as opposed to other worlds?

Take life much too seriously.

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