Why Teaching Is Both Hysterical and Heartbreaking

SCISSORS

In Claire’s first year of teaching she was given a 1st grade class, which in those days was considered the hardest to teach and only given to the best teachers. At least that is what they told her...she knows now that’s what they tell all newer teachers to put them in classes or grades that they can’t fill at the time. You know the drill.

Anyway it was a cute if large class, and Claire was terrified. It was her first year after all, so in the first week or two she decided to teach a lesson which required cutting and scissors. She had put this off because the thought of having a large class of cute and lively kids brandishing scissors was terrifying. She spent a long time talking about scissors and showing them not only how to use them but more importantly how to hold them, and how to hold them while moving around.

which involved holding them in their fist.

As it turned out she needn’t have worried.

About 10 minutes in Claire heard a wailing from the back of the room.

Diane, a cute little blond, was crying very hard. Claire ran back thinking that the worst had happened with those darn scissors. When she saw no blood and started breathing again she asked what was wrong. Between sobs, this little cutie blurted out the following “I can’t cut with them” and raised her little hand holding the scissors in her fist.

Claire tried really hard not to make it worse by laughing too hard. She failed.

Just a sidelight to this story which occurred at a school in

Tustin. Claire barely knew the principal because he was a realtor on the side, and was gone two thirds of the time. He made some real money according to the veterans.

RONNIE

Ronnie entered Frieda’s life when she was 24 years old. Ronnie was seven. He was in her

1st and 2nd grade combination class. Ronnie was a tiny little first grader whose head was shaved, as was his brother in the next door class. She found out later it was shaved because lice was always prevalent in his strange family. Ronnie was not shy. He also had the unfortunate habit of peeing whenever and wherever he wanted. Very soon her class smelled so bad that people would not come into Frieda’s class at certain times of the day.

Frieda talked to Ronnie a million times, and finally decided that the problem was that he really did not know how to accomplish this fete in the restroom. She did the logical thing and asked the principal to take him into the boys restroom and help him. If this occurred now the principal would have been fired and jailed, but this was a long time ago. The principal was not enthusiastic about this odd field trip, but came back with an astonished look on his face and declared “He really didn’t know how to aim.”

Frieda stupidly thought that the whole situation had come to a conclusion.

She was young. It hadn’t. The very next day Ronnie and the smell was back as Ronnie had peed in the closet . So she told This strange little boy with his head all shaved off, that if he ever did it again, she would take him home and tell his parents.

A couple of days later there was another whizzing incident. So at noon this quivering frightened child crawled into her car and off they went to see his parents.

Frieda had subsequently found out that his parents not only had six children in California, but had left another six kids in Indiana. They had zero money.

Ronnie and Frieda pulled up to the house in Montclair California and knocked on the door. Ronnie looked like he was going to faint, and she didn’t feel that great either. A short skinny man with his belt actually tied together holding up pants that were way too big, came to the door and the whiff of urine was unmistakable. He said nothing and didn’t look a bit happy. She told him what had been going on and he glared at Ronnie and said in an inconclusive accent “God Damn It Ronnie, I taught you how to piss!”.

There didn’t seem to be much else to say after that. Ronnie ran in and changed his pants, and they whipped right out of there.

RONNIE 2

Ronnie gave it a whirl but really didn’t stop peeing once in a while in the closet, the trash, and a couple of other handy places, but honestly the class and Frieda just got used to it. There were almost no visitors to her classroom though.

Ronnie kept Frieda’s first year of teaching pretty lively. He fell in love easily, and Susan was the one for awhile. He showed his love in strange ways. One of the memorable ways was the day he stole her huge box of crayons. Susan loved those crayons and was completely destroyed when they were gone. Ronnie was clearly the culprit. We had witnesses.

She ordered him to go out to the sandbox in the big yard where he had been seen with them. He came back empty handed, so the entire class went out sifting the sand all over the place. Cleaning up the room was an annoying chore with all the sand and all.

The crayons couldn’t be found.

The only thing to do was to make Ronnie pay for them, but of course he couldn’t., so Frieda bought Susan a huge box, and told Ronnie he was going to have to pay her back.

She made a long list of chores for him. One of the chores was to clean the bathroom. She was sitting in the faculty room having her lunch when the custodian came running in both out of breath and really mad…at her! It appears that some girls came running out of the girl’s bathroom screaming, and after getting all the girls out, he found you guessed it Ronnie! He had entered obviously intent on the one chore that he really wanted to do. When confronted by the unbelieving custodian, he very proudly lifted his paper thin arm and proudly showed him his list, pointing to the right chore which was to clean the bathroom....the boys bathroom, and proceeded to continue his job.

After the custodian accused Frieda of sending him in there, he strongly suggested that she be the one to go in and take him out because it seems that Ronnie refused to leave.

She was very young.

RONNIE 3

Ronnie loved to share and Frieda had sharing every day, so he shared every day. Often the class had no idea what he was talking about, but this time they definitely did. He could hardly share what he wanted because he kept laughing and could not get it out. The class was transfixed on this skinny little kid with a rumpled and vaguely dirty t-shirt hanging too long, while he carried on this inner joke. Finally, they got the story. His dad…you know the skinny guy with the belt wrapped around and tied keeping his pants up…the one who taught Ronnie “How to piss”. Yeah, that guy. Apparently he had backed the car down the driveway, stumbled out of the car, and run over his own leg. We shouldn’t have laughed, but God forgive us we did….and hard.

The heartbreaking end of the Ronnie Story is that he and his brother ended up in prison.