Grand Families

One of the increasing trends in family caregiving is ‘grand families’. This is when grandparents and other older relatives take care of children whose parents are absent or unable to raise them.

It’s a well-known fact that it takes a village to raise a child; that multi-generational involvement can add a great deal to the life of young ones. Studies suggest that such children exhibit a solid sense of security when they remain with family members who can provide for them.

Even so, for many grandparents this second-time-parenting may require additional resources and can require adjustments in lifestyle choices.

I have read several articles on the subject and they all indicate the importance of feelings.

Caregiving grandchildren (grandnieces, grandnephews, too) can stir up a range of emotions. There are of course the joyful, love-filled sentiments and the relief of knowing that they are providing a safe environment.

Those feelings can also include resentment about having to adjust be perhaps only partially retired as well as guilt because the child’s parents is not able to be the primary guardian. There is also fear about what would happen if the required caregiving tasks consumed all of the available energy and resources. What if more were needed? What would be left?

Experts say all of the above feelings come into play. It’s only natural, they say. So find ways to accept them, especially the ones you don’t want to have.

It is helpful to remember that grandparents don’t have the energy and stamina they once had. Professionals advise that grandparents remind themselves they have wisdom now that they lacked when younger. They make different choices and don’t fret the small stuff the way they once might have.

They also better know the value of taking care of themselves. They find ways to eat well, exercise, and recharge as necessary. They know from experience that catching one’s breath is not an option, it’s a necessity.

Finally, they are often mature enough to reach out when help is needed. They can develop – or even create - support systems with others in a similar situation. They can also seek assistance from local community agencies, if needed.

There are so many more aspects to consider, such as how the child interacts with the grandparents and with the parents (if visitation is part of the arrangement).

To find out more about available resources, check with your local Area Council on Aging.