Life Skills Not Taught

We’ve all heard that everything we need to know we learned in kindergarten. These skills include kindness, creative thinking and the like. But what if there is more to learn than that?

According to a recent blog by Huffington Posts’ Jeannette Maw, while it’s important to be accountable, persistent, and able to delay gratification, there are other capabilities beyond them that are necessary for living life successfully.
For example, knowing how to say ‘no’. In a society that fosters the notion that we must relegate our desires to those of others, that we must not refuse to do something that another wants us to do is tantamount to ‘being selfishness’ or ‘self-centered’.

Geez, if that were always the case then we’d all be weighed down by guilt or worse, by always being yoked to what someone else wants. Learning to say no because a request or desire is not in our best interest is what builds personal integrity.

She also mentioned rejection. That’s a complicated one. We have been dependent upon others, such as parents, for survival. We’ve also relied upon co-workers, and the larger community to do their share so that as a whole we can reap the rewards. But not everyone plays by the same rules.

When we don’t receive the support or approval we seek, we can slide into fear. That sliding, though, can stop us from taking important risks in order to follow our dreams. It is important to learn how to deal with rejections so that we can get on with success.

Making joy a priority flies in the face of the ‘eat your vegetables before you can have dessert’ philosophy so many in this culture have been weaned on.

What if joy were first? What if we did what we did because it gave us joy? Most likely that would mean that we would do what was joyful. Sounds like a great idea. Why? Because joy – which is an antidote to stress and misery - always begets more of itself.

Of course, that would require us to know what it is that brings us joy. Ahhh… the Million Dollar question for most of us. But if we take time to reflect upon what we desire and what personal fulfillment means to us, we can come pretty close to determining what brings us joy and that can support our capacity to be courageous enough to live joyfully.

In some circles this is referred to as “following our bliss”. Not a bad idea, not at all.

To read more about Maw’s views of top life skills that often aren’t taught, click here.

To download free ebooks about what I’ve learned as a caregiver, click here.