'Surprised' and 'Grateful,' Howard Family Prepares a Memorial Service in Palo Alto

It has been less than 48 hours, and Cindy Howard catches herself thinking of things that she will tell her sister-in-law, Ana-Maria Dias, or expecting to hear from her brother-in-law, Robert Howard.

"Everyone is so in shock," she said Sunday evening. "I keep going through my day and I keep expecting to hear from them."

Those words came tumbling out even as she prepared a memorial service for July 31 at , where both her nieces had gone to school.

It has been less than 48 hours, too, since she put up a website announcing the sudden, fiery crash that killed Ana-Maria, Robert, and their daughters, Samantha, 12, and Veronica, 9, on a wet, curving highway in British Columbia's Kootenay National Park.

Within 15 minutes, a condolence was left on the site. What followed was an outpouring of remembrances—kindnesses shown, three-hour conversations  shared over coffee, giggles overheard in the volleyball carpool, mentoring shared, school theater projects conquered, and more.

"I'm surprised and grateful," said Cindy Howard.

One person remembered hanging out in the family's camper, which was whimsically named Edwina, and another recounted how Robert Howard had helped with mechanical issues on their camper. Another wrote about Dias' prodigious energy, organization and creativity. Another wrote about how the design community would miss Howard.

"The stories are important to us as we try to remember their legacy," said Cindy Howard. "These memories get lost so easily, and that's why I implemented the site the way I did, so that we would have them for the years to come."

There is a page for the family—with individual pages for Robert, Ana-Maria, Samantha, known as Sam, and Veronica, also called Nica—and room for people to leave messages. Classmates of the girls have recounted how spirited Samantha was, how sweet a friend Veronica was.

Family members said the union of Robert Howard, an industrial design engineer, and Dias, a rocket-engineer-turned-semiconductor-engineer, matched two intellects who shared an infectious ability to laugh. Howard was vice-president of engineering at Lunar, an engineering and industrial design firm. Dias was a deeply involved schools volunteer who had launched a business as a professional organizer not long ago.

Above all, Cindy Howard wants people to remember how generous and giving they were, she said.

Canadians, too, have expressed their sorrow on robertandanamaria.com.

The Howard-Dias family had an road-trip itinerary that straddled both provinces of British Columbia and Alberta, which included Banff National Park. As they were traveling on Highway 93 through Kootenay National Park near Olive Lake, however, a tractor-trailer rig crossed over the center line and jack-knifed into the camper's path. The fuel tanks exploded and engulfed the camper in flames.

"It's a story in the Canadian press as well," Cindy Howard said. "There are heartrending stories."

Canadian Nan L. shared how when she was 10, many of her family members had died in a car accident in Michigan. She said she "saw the hole that such an unbelievable loss leaves in the heart of the family." The American police and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police were kind, she wrote, but the cross-border challenges were difficult at that time.

Kelly and Char from Canada wrote, "With profound sympathy, we extend condolences on an unfathomable loss. We were close by when this happened. The next morning, as we unavoidably drove by Olive Lake, our hearts filled with a heavy sadness for the family and those who will be missing them. May you find peace in their memories and the joy they brought to your world."

Those messages resonate with the welcoming and warmth Cindy Howard experienced in that part of Canada. She traveled there one year when there were 300-mile detours because of severe forest fires.

"The flag-holder on the highway said, 'My house has burned down, and I lost everything'— yet she was there, because she knew she had an important job to do," Howard said.

Ana-Maria is survived by her parents, Jose and Natalia Dias, of Turlock; her brother, John Dias, of Turlock; and three sisters, Teresa Dias, of Turlock, Mary Horvitz and her husband, Eric, and Natalia Moore and her husband, Jim. She is also survived by nieces and nephews, Carlo and Nicholas Dias, Carla and Andrea Francisco, Zachary Horvitz, and Lana and Leah Moore, as well as a grand-niece, Taylor Dias.

Robert Howard is survived by his father, Ron, of Palo Alto; his sister, Kim Saxe and her husband, Tim, of Los Altos; his brothers, David Howard, of Menlo Park, and John Howard and his wife, Cindy, of Palo Alto; a nephew, Andrew, of Palo Alto; three nieces, Amanda, Laurel and Gwen, of Palo Alto; and an uncle, Burton Hatheway, of Bridgeport, CT. He was preceded in death by his mother, Polly, who died in 1997.

A memorial service will be 3 p.m. Sunday at El Carmelo Elementary School, 3024 Bryant St., in Palo Alto.

A church service is pending in the Central Valley where Dias' family lives.