A Dream

A Dream

Year after year I couldn’t stop thinking and talking about a trip to Italy and a visit to Sicily and my mom’s family’s roots. I thought, I talked, and…nothing. But then October 2007 came along.

It all started with a mastermind event in Las Vegas. I attended the conference with my Office Manager and soon-to-become Team Leader Dani. It was purely awesome catching up with some of my buddies from my early Dental Boot Kamp training days. No 2007 push-ups, sit ups, or burpees, just some intense training to put “10” s on our foreheads and copy some genius from Napoleon Hill, “Think, and Grow Rich”, and the power of the mastermind.

It turned out there was one participant with whom friendship seemed a longshot. Gary was a consultant who’d authored a book (Big whoops, so had I). And it was like the new guy was consuming oxygen and equity that might’ve been an overreach. And to add to my wounded, delicate weekend sensibilities, my USC Trojans lost to Stanford on Saturday as 41-point favorites. Later, at Morton’s, I had attitude just ordering a petit filet mignon.

Six months later, consultant Gary and I met again at an annual meeting. There was a golf tournament; I entered it. And to my dismay, my bad attitude and I were sentenced to share five hours of agony in a golf cart with you-know-who. I couldn’t believe it; I was too young for purgatory.

By the end of the round we were friends; it wasn’t the first time I’d rushed to judgment and having the last word. It turned out, Gary and I had shared similar non dental training by way of Landmark Education. During Landmark, I’d faced some self-inflicted demons, apologized to almost everyone with whom I’d ever shared a conversation, began our practice’s reach out into the community, and learned an effective approach to conflict resolution; even some of my relationship blind spots became visible. I wound up hiring Gary, and with his partner Art, they visited our office in SoCal for a dental practice assessment and discovery experience.

Day One included a 360-degree review from my team. At the end of the day, the three of us met up at La Fornaretta, my all-time fav pizzeria in Old Town Pasadena.

Gary and Art shared the review with me over some delicious tortellini sugo. The reviews were positive; my team did not hate me. There were systems requiring tune ups, and there was one bit of feedback showing up as a leadership demerit: My freely sharing about a personal vision with no sign of ever walking the talk outta my comfort zone.

The dialogue:

G: Everyone on your team says you always talk about going to Italy, but you never go. Why?

Me: Yeah, you know, the cost and all the time away from the office…

G: Tell me about your parents.

Me: My parents were Gods; they’re the best people I’ve ever known. My parents sacrificed a new home so that I could go to dental school; they’ve been there for me no matter what.

G: What did your parents want for you?

Me: They wanted me to have more in my life than they’d had in theirs. I’ll never be as good as my parents.

G: I think you have a “deservedness” issue (I didn’t know it was a word). If you do not go to Italy, don’t hire me. I have someone who lives in Sienna who can set up the entire trip. And again, if you don’t go, there is no deal, do not hire me. I can’t help someone who thinks he doesn’t deserve to be great.

I went to Italy in June 2008. Within a year, I also attended the Masters in Augusta, went to South Bend for USC vs Notre Dame football, saw the U.S. Open at Torrey Pines, spent a week at Oahu and Maui with my entire team (a trip repeated three more times), and shook Garth Brook’s hand at Nashville’s Grand Ole Opry. I might’ve left something out.

Gary’s coaching had a positive impact. We’d been playing small; we were now playing big. My team and I enjoyed the experience and learned some stuff; it was fun. Our production didn’t double overnight, but our culture, teamwork, and leadership took more than a baby step forward.

The confidence I gained by taking the dream trip I never really thought would ever happen showed up in ways I never imagined. I became a public speaker, published two more books, successfully restored clinical cases that scared me, and empowered my team to become leaders among leaders and health missionaries in the community.

Years later, we again collaborated, Gary even set me up for some sessions with his life coach. But the chemistry was missing. Since then, we’ve have had some ups and downs.

I never imagined living my Italy dream would cast such a ripple. I’ll always appreciate Gary and anyone else who makes me do something that helps fear step out of the way (Even if it’s an ultimatum).

Remember, “Fear gets a voice, but not a vote.” Jon Acuff