If He Was a Dentist...

"Humor is just another defense against the Universe." Mel Brooks

So the leadership training I carried into establishing a private dental practice way back during late-Disco and the Carter Administration came from home. Basic stuff like honesty, fairness, respect, and doing your best came from Mom, Dad, and big brother Jay. My family shared some great core values without even trying; my greatest fear was disappointing them.

Mom was a source of love and accountability. Jay was like my marketing director, and Dad was my coach in sports and life.

Left to my own devices and self-supervision, the first year in college led to some interesting challenges, such as procrastination, no concept of time management, and a false sense of security, finally leading to some imposter syndrome (before it was even a thing) and a 2.13 GPA.

Dad coached me up following that disastrous Q1, Year One at Cal State University, Los Angeles (CSULA). The 10-minute meeting changed everything. Dad knew I could do better if I applied myself ("I don't think you're that stupid"); he was there to support and encourage me 100%, if I gave 100% effort. And the next day I had a warehouse job. Dad focused on a poor result, expressed his confidence in me, and together we’d arrive at an outcome aligned with my major goal (dental school). My new job created an appreciation for work and with no time to waste, gave me a clear understanding of time management...and lifting heavy objects.

My one-on-one seminar on leadership was the last I’d receive from anyone outside of my family until 20 years into my dental career.

Finally, in 1996, a leadership awakening happened straight outta Canmore, Alberta Canada, and an enlightening Boot Kamp of a dental kind. It was my first flight since age 12. With two team members, we picked up new communication insights and systems together; we returned home with “Tens” on our foreheads. We explored the DISC personality profile, a close cousin of the Golden Rule. We delivered information, not as we’d best receive it, but in a way the person in front of us could most effectively process it. We figured out our own profiles.

And I’m not so sure one can cheat taking the DISC test, but I knew I wanted to be an “I” because that’s what JFK was. “I” stands for Influence, and a typically enthusiastic, trusting, outgoing, optimistic personality (at least I was trusting). JFK was the example and my hero; I saw his inauguration on a little black and white screen in an auditorium when I was in the 6th Grade. There was PT 109, a Pulitzer for Profiles in Courage; he played touch football, had a beautiful wife, shared Socratic quotes with the greatest of ease, successfully saved the world by managing the Cuban Missile Crisis, and declared we’d land a man on the moon before the end of the decade and do other things “…not because they are easy, but because they are hard.”

Back in The Day, like before 2016 (with a few notable exceptions) U.S. presidents were typically role models for children, young adults, and even some dentists. Yeah, those were the days… (sigh).

I began wondering about the current Chief of State and the example he sets as a role model; it was painful. Then, remembering that humor can often be the best medicine, I began conjuring the image of DJT, DDS.

So, let’s throw out the role model part, unless you’d love to see your kid or dentist molded into an adult, the likes of which had an extensive history of hiding his grades, stiffing vendors, and employees, assaulting the ladies and detaining people of color while using his heel spurs to keep himself safe.

DJT, DDS does not have a DISC profile. I think this DDS-type’s erratic behavior would land him in the asterisk zone, an unoccupied space orbiting the planet and DISC where at least half of the population could be classified as normal on a sunny SoCal day in November.

I remember seeing traces of DJT-ism before its time, illustrated by the white coats back in my D-school days. In my mind’s eye, they were serious, arms crossed, great at telling but considered listening “too woke” (true, even before it was a thing). Many White coats used to love teaching by humiliation, having the last word, and making students wrong; they were more like miniature dictators than academics (also “too woke”).

I can see DJT, DDS cutting wages, firing employees (just before Christmas) with a smug smile (it coulda been gas). I see a professional who might create a fraudulent study club, steal from his own community projects, and brag about never having paid overtime.

Clinically, Doc DJT would have some potential, what with those tiny baby hands. But having seen the golf swing and dance moves, plus his bulk barely contoured within the relatively small treatment rooms, the physical challenges would seem far too great. The emotional challenges would be even greater. Our core values: Family, Fun, Empathy, Appreciation, Representing (the community), Love, Enthusiasm, Service, and Support wouldn’t be a fit for treatment by the questionable numbers and a transaction steered only toward the largest possible profit.

I can picture a culture where patients and team members were always wrong and DJT, DDS was always right. There’d be some finger pointing going on at the morning huddle and maybe the numbers would be doctored, but lastly, “around the horn” mandatory praise heaped upon DJT would signal the start of another chaotic day. The practice purpose would be Loyalty, posted in every room. And I mean every room.

There might even be an attempt to buy off the local dental society, arm the key opinion leader members with lasers, drills, masks, surgical gowns minus the name tags, in unmarked cars to search Pasadena and nearby towns for undocumented “staff” members of color (“team,” being too “woke”).

And to think, my practice team looked like the United Nations, just like SoCal’s population.

The good news is DJT, DDS will never be a dentist, and you must accept small bytes of good news when they occur. DJT could never pass Organic Chemistry; reading would be required; it would take more than tiny hands. And in Dentistry, it’s six times and you’re out; and that includes bankruptcy and felony convictions.

We dodged the end of the world 63 years ago and, with one giant step for Mankind, landed a man on the moon in 1969. Let’s see what we can do in November 2026.