The Case of the Picky Eater

“I hate chicken and broccoli,” your child groans as you announce what is for dinner. Your optimism decreases as your irritation rises.

“She just ate chicken the other night and loved it,” you think to yourself.

Before you have a chance to utter a word you hear, “I want chicken nuggets.”

“No,” you say vehemently.

“Then I am having hot dog,” you child states as a matter of fact. You are wondering who put this little person in charge.

“We are having chicken and broccoli tonight,” you state slowly and assertively.

And then it happens. You hear your child sigh. You see the ucky face she makes. And then she says the words that push you over the edge.

”Gross. I am not eating that!”

Ding. Ding. Ding. And in this corner, mom. And in the other, your picky eater.

The fight is on. Yelling. Arguing. Negotiating. Threats. Defiance. Determination. Escalation. How will it end?

I believe with many children it can end without a struggle. Here are a few ideas on how to work towards a peaceful meal.

• Step out of the power struggle. Give your child the choice to eat or not eat. With that said, if the choice is not to eat what is offered, then there will be no special snacks or desserts in the evening. If your child makes this choice not to eat what is offered, then you remind them tomorrow they can make a better choice at dinner to eat what is offered. This is gold in your pocket as you now have a fresh reminder of how your child felt last night when they didn't eat. You can say, “Do you remember last night when you were sad because you didn't get dessert? Let's not do that again tonight. I know you can make a good choice to eat what is on your plate so you don't get sad and get to eat the ice cream you picked out."Allow your child to eat so many bites of something. If you know they hate broccoli then 2 bites will suffice.

• Give your child choice. When your child announces they are done you can say, “I really noticed you eating dinner tonight without complaining. If you want to have special snack, you need to eat 5 more bites of food, 2 of which are broccoli and you can choose the other 3 bites. I know you can do it Celebrate all successes by noticing what they did right at the table. “I really noticed you drinking your milk and eating your yogurt. That is going to help keep you healthy and strong.”
• Offer 1-2 foods at the meal you know they like.
• Be consistent. If the child didn't earn a snack, she doesn't get a snack.