How to Have Stress-Free, TRULY Happy Thanksgiving: Family Tips from Bay Area Expert

BAY AREA, CA – Dr. Michael Rubino, a Bay Area psychotherapist who has worked with children, teens and families for more than 19 years, shares a plan to best handle holidays -- and the possible accompanying stressors.

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By Michael Rubino, Ph.D, MFT

The holiday season is coming up fast. For many people this is a happy time, and, for others, it is a stressful time.

The holidays can bring up family issues that have not yet been resolved, or everyone is trying to make the day so perfect that it becomes a stressful day, not a happy one.

Thanksgiving is coming up first so let's deal with that day. Thanksgiving with family can mean an increase in chaos and stress. Having a Thanksgiving plan can reduce anxiety, decrease the likelihood of arguments and increase the likelihood that everyone has the happy and enjoyable Thanksgiving that they were expecting.

Author Lori Lite, who writes about stress management, uses the acronym G-R-A-T-E-F-U-L as her Thanksgiving stress guide. It helps her and others get through the day in a peaceful manner. Each letter reminds you of something to do, or a way to view the day, so you do not get upset.

So here is how to use gratitude and G-R-A-T-E-F-U-L as your Thanksgiving Stress-Reliever.

G- Gratitude is the opposite of stress. It is difficult to feel stressed out when we are feeling gratitude.
R- Relax your expectations and let the day unfold. You might be surprised by the outcome.
A- Acceptance is the opposite of judgment. If we accept our family member for who they are and what they are capable of, we can relax and enjoy ourselves.
T- Teens can be a part of Thanksgiving. Ask them what they would like to bring to the table. Let them bring it.
E- Empower children and let them help with age-appropriate assignments. Putting the nuts out or making the centerpiece. Let them do it their way … not your way.

F– Focus on family for this day. Put all work and worries on the shelf

U– Unplug the electronics for dinner so that everyone can be fully present.
L- Love is often overlooked when we are busy. Cook with love. … Speak with love. … Show your love and gratitude for your family on this Thanksgiving Day.

This might seem very simple and obvious, but at times the best solutions are rather simple.

Also, you may want to practice using this in your daily life. It may seem simple, but it may be harder to do than you think because you are accustomed to doing things and viewing life in a certain way. This idea may challenge you to reassess how you approach life in general.

This acronym may be helpful in your daily life. Many of us are not use to looking at our lives in terms of all for which we have to be grateful. Many of us have a hard time relaxing and not worrying about work or other things we need to do. I have found that just being in the moment is difficult for most people.

Most of us believe we always have to be doing something. This creates stress and disappointment.

Finally, since we feel we must always be doing something, disconnecting from cellphones and other electronics can be very difficult for many people. However ... think about it! How can you have fun and enjoy the day with your family, if your mind is not fully present? You can't.

Furthermore, this can create tension for others because they feel ignored, and, for you, because you feel they don't respect how important what you are doing at the moment is to you. As a result, you have stress which can turn into an argument and everyone is upset.

A day of unhappiness becomes a day of anger and disappointment. Therefore, in order to avoid this possibility trying use the word GRATEFUL and following its guidelines for the day. What do you have to lose?

For other columns from Dr. Rubino, see:

• Teens, Tweens And Cell Phones: Advice For Parents
• Does My Child Need An ADHD Assessment?
• Doing What Is Best For Your Child During A Divorce

Rubino practices in Pleasant Hill. For more information, visit his website at www.rcs-ca.com or follow him on Twitter @RubinoTherapy or Facebook page at www.facebook.com/drrubino3.

--Image via Morguefile