Community Update

5 More Things Your Guests Won’t Tell You

By Alan Berg

In my article for the last issue I shared 5 Things Your Guests Won’t Tell You,
with some of the things that you and I, as guests, have experienced at other
people’s weddings and events. You know, the things we say as we’re leaving, or
when recounting the tales of the affair to those who weren’t there.

In case you missed it, here’s the summary (you can find the entire
article on page 101 in the Fall 2013 issue of Beautiful Bride Magazine):

1) Your guests won’t thank you for making your Mom, sister, best friend or maid
of honor work on your wedding day.

2) Your guests won’t thank you for making them wait while you take pictures.

3) Your guests won’t tell you that you put way too many things on your wedding
registry.

4) Your guests want to see, and hear your ceremony. Ask them to stay in their
seats so everyone else can see.

5) Your guests won’t thank you for hiring the cheapest wedding vendors.

I had
so much good input for the first article that I wanted to continue it here. So,
here are 5 More Things Your Guests Won’t Tell
You:

1) The
music was too loud for conversation. We know that it’s usually
the older folks who would complain about the noise, but truth be told, everyone
wants to be able to have a conversation. If you hire the right band or DJ, and
they know your venue well, they’ll be able to ensure that your guests will be
able to have a conversation at their tables, even while the dance floor is
packed.

2) I
came here to see the two of you, not the people at my table.
While it can be tough with a larger guest count, everyone there came to see
you, the happy wedding couple. It’s your role to be gracious hosts &
hostesses and make sure that your guests are acknowledged for attending and
having a good time. Even a receiving line is a way for them to get a moment of
face time with you.

3) Not
sending thank you cards, it’s just rude – Wow, I heard this from a few people.
People who have gone to the trouble of sending you a gift, whether they
attended your wedding or not, whether it was off your registry or not, need to
be properly thanked. No one is obligated to send you a gift because you got
married. Sending a thank you note (preferably a hand-written one that’s
personal) is a very nice, and very classy touch.

4) There
were way too many speeches… What’s
that you said? I’m sorry, I tuned out. Let the best man and maid of honor make
their speeches. Mom & Dad and other close friends and relatives should give
their speeches at the rehearsal dinner. Most of the guests won’t get the inside
jokes and it puts a real damper on the mood and energy to have your guests sit
through endless toasts.

5) Thanks
for not thinking about the comfort of your guests during the ceremony.
This is especially true for outdoor ceremonies scenarios, having your guests
sitting in the blazing hot sun without fans for a 45-60 minute ceremony.
Consider not only the time of year, but also how long your guests will be
waiting for the ceremony to start. Can you have a tent? Can you have somewhere
for the guests to get some shade before they get seated? Can you have water or
other cool beverages for them? Those plastic folding chairs aren’t the most
comfortable for sitting for long periods, especially in dressy clothing.

Well,
there you have it, 5 more things you wouldn’t want if you were a guest at a
wedding, and now you can avoid doing them to your guests. Realistically it
would be best for every couple to put themselves in the shoes of their guests.
It’s hard to do for a couple of reasons. First, it’s your wedding day, so it’s
all about you, right? Sort of. The ceremony is all about you, but the reception
is a celebration of your union, so throw a great party for your friends and
family. When you throw a party for your friends and family, you make sure they
have a great time. The other reason it’s hard to put yourself in their shoes is
that you’re not them. You eat different foods. You enjoy different music. You
like different design and décor. Quite simply it’s hard to please everyone, so
don’t try to, but do try to make everyone feel comfortable and welcome (which
is why I advocate using a professional wedding planner, that’s what they do so
well and they can help you navigate these murky waters).

I’m
sure you’re going to have a wonderful wedding ceremony and reception. Let’s
have your guests raving about how yours was the first wedding they’ve ever felt
really welcomed and a part of it. Now, wouldn’t that be nice.

Alan Berg has over 20 years of experience in the wedding
industry and has authored three books, “If your website was an employee, would you fire it?,”
“Don’t Paint The House” and “Your Attitude for Success.”
Learn more at www.alanberg.com