Evil Mother Lady: Kids Are Cute—When They're Not Yours

So, now it is time for the next confession—ever notice how cute truly little people are when someone else is entertaining them and chasing after them? At the airport, flying away from my little people, I found myself gravitating where the little people were. Each flight, I was in front of or behind a toddler. Sitting at the gate, I parked near the overly energetic preschooler whose parents were frantically trying to burn some of that energy off before we had to sit still for our second four-hour flight. During the flight, I played “got your finger” with the 18-month-old in front. Whenever her “requests” penetrated my earplugs, we played until something else captured her attention. I chuckled to hear another parent singing a made up song about yummy Cheerios; mine just turned 17 and 13 this week, I haven’t heard it, much less sang it in years. I was glad to know other parents weren’t afraid to make a fool of themselves in public for the enjoyment and entertainment of their kids.

I guess I am a sucker for little people, with their engaging grins and manic ways … must be the years I spent nannying and being a mother’s help as a teen. But a large part of it is empathy for the parents. I have been there, done it, it is not necessarily fun, and someone has to sit directly in front of or behind the screaming/crying/seat-kicking/wanna play and pull your hair little person. At least I am a sympathetic audience and they won’t get the snarlies from me. Plus, the little people are just plain cute at this age and you always get to give them back and get a full night’s sleep, so what is the harm? 

Having been the mom traveling along with three little people 4 and below, I commiserate with these parents and their anxiety about traveling with their children. As I learned with mine, you can talk all you like but you can’t “make” your child do anything. You might be lucky enough to persuade them the consequences are not worth the effort or you could be mean enough for them not to cross you, but it’s a crap shoot what the outcome is when you take small children into difficult situations where disapproving adults will be trapped with your children’s actions for hours. 

For me, the anxiety was enough to make me either drive across country or take the train with a private sleeping car for five. Besides my paranoia about crashes and my guilt in case it happened and my husband lost us all (we still refuse to all fly together; staggered flights, separate days … yes, I really am paranoid), I opted to have more control of the situation. Having flown solo with infants, toddlers and preschoolers, I learned how much the stress drained me. Worrying about keeping them quiet, keeping them from crying/being loud/throwing things/kicking the seats/getting cranky, all of those things convinced me it was less stress to drive 3,000 miles by myself with three girls strapped across the backseat in carseats.

Having a bad day, stop early for a hotel for R & R. Too much energy, find a park and run and play, go to the hotel early and swim in the pool. Finally have all fall asleep in a nap, don’t worry about someone’s cough or the plane’s announcements waking them up, set the radio and drive away the miles. Even though it was more time, it was less work and I was the only person stressed out, no one else’s issues and anger to worry about. And I had as much control over the situation as could be expected.

So, if you see me on the return flights to San Diego in two weeks, I will be the one making goofy faces at the toddler in front of me instead of reading my emails. Or gritting my teeth and telling the dad behind it is fine, his child really isn’t bugging me when he yells in excitement at the 50^th cloud and kicks my seat. Definitely enjoying myself, at least until naptime. Then it’s time for the computer to break out. So, how about you?