Neighbor News
Shaboo Tales: Labels Don't Make the Person
Young Augustus contemplates whether the labels others have put on him are adequate.

Hello there, my name is Augustus. I am a nineteen-year-old Roman Catholic Caucasian male. I am the middle child of a middle-class family with an average build and a 3.5 grade point average. Iβm the βfunny oneβ at home, βthe tall oneβ in class and the βthe new oneβ at the plumbing company where I just started working part-time.
Apparently Iβm likable because I have over one thousand followers and friends on Facebook and Twitter. Apparently Iβm important because I get lots of applications for loans and the US Army wants me. Apparently I am valuable because I have a bank account, a cell phone and a credit card.
After my eighteenth birthday, I became a voter, a high school graduate and my status changed from being a minor to an adult. This year I became an employed taxpaying vegetarian freshman college student and now I am in a bit of a crisis.
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I donβt know who I am.
None of the ways other people use to describe me, and I mean none, excite me or make me feel happy and I really donβt understand why.
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I work hard to do everything right. I am a good son, a good student and a good citizen. I am inoffensive and predictable. I follow all the rules. Finally, I can easily be placed in a respectable category with other young educated, hard working adults but I donβt feel any great sense of achievement about it. As a matter of fact, Iβm noticing that I donβt feel anything at all and Iβm starting to worry that this isnβt where itβs at for me.
Argh! I canβt afford to be different! I donβt dare find out what excites me because if it isnβt this it might turn out to be unicycling or building doghouses with bottle tops!
Why, why, why canβt my brain just shut up and do what Iβm supposed to do? Thereβs nothing to think about, really. Everythingβs been laid out for me since I was born: who to be, what to buy, and who to even frigginβ like. As a matter of fact, I should be more grateful but noooooo! I have to go and make life complicated for myself, I have to start questioning things and considering alternativesβ¦damn it!
I donβt see a lot of my friends having the same worries, they seem pretty hassle-free uploading photos of their feet on Instagram. My uncle always tells me to just lay low in life, work hard and get a pension.
Maybe I should talk with my class counselor or my churchβs priest about my problem? I bet they know how to help straighten disturbed young people like me. Whatever I do, I donβt dare let my parents know about this because they will just worry about who I am going to be.
(long pause)
Or maybe I should just go for a long walk. I bet I can figure it out for myself, just me and the birds and the breeze and the trees.
Contentedly yours,
Shaboo
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