Ray Rice: Statement from Human Options CEO Vivian Clecak

I was shocked with the rest of the world in seeing the graphic video this week showing a blatant display of domestic violence. As a lifetime advocate of domestic violence prevention, there is much more to this story that needs to be told.

We may be quick to blame the victim and wonder why she doesn’t leave the relationship. Domestic violence is probably the only crime in which the victim is blamed as much, if not more, than the perpetrator. Numerous factors may keep abused women from leaving immediately after an attack -- self-blame, love and yearning for better times, the perpetrator’s tearful apologies and promise to get help and change, children and the hope of keeping a family together. There is fear of the unknown, financial dependence, family pressure, learned helplessness and depression. Many women feel responsible for the health of their relationships and we cannot know or understand the particular circumstances of Janay Rice.

We should be asking ourselves what we can do to help her, not what is wrong with her.

I applaud the Baltimore Ravens for releasing Ray Rice. It is now time for the NFL and the individual teams to take a proactive position to prevent domestic violence and dating abuse beyond reacting to crimes by their players. Perhaps the NFL and players join together to fund a domestic violence prevention foundation that will support programs to educate teens on healthy relationships and how to heal from the potential wounds of childhood abuse or family violence. They might provide seminars for teen athletes and coaches or pay for ad space for prevention programs during televised football games.

Let’s hope that they will step beyond reacting to a dramatic crisis and help build a culture which will not tolerate abuse.

Vivian Clecak is a licensed social worker and Marriage and Family Therapist. She is the Co-Founder and Chief Executive Officer of Orange County-based Human Options which has worked to stop the cycle of domestic violence for over 33 years.

For further information or if you know anyone who needs help, please call:

Human Options 24 Hr. Hotline: 877-854-3594

Business Office: 949.737.5242

www.humanoptions.org

###