Coming to the Rescue

Throughout her life, my youngest daughter, Rachel, has been sick with one thing or another - colds, viruses, stomach problems, severe reflux.

As a result, she missed a lot of school over the years and could never seem to catch up once that happened. It would break my heart.

Each school year, she would start out doing fine, and then another mystery illness would surface and take its toll.

Sometimes, I was hard on her, wanting her to push through, not give in to aches and pains, all for the goal of her becoming an excellent student, a self-sufficient young woman who could handle any situation and conquer it.

Sophomore year of high school was particularly tough. She went on a school-sponsored trip to Florida in mid-March and then got sick and was out of school for the better part of six weeks. In other words, the whole last marking period.

I thought she should try harder to get up and go to school, but she wouldn't or couldn't. I finally dragged her to the doctor.

Dr. Cox examined Rachel and gave us the diagnosis: mono! Oh, my God! How long would she be sick? How much school would she miss? I was a wreck, worried about her health, but worried about her grades when she needed to do well to get into college.

While Rachel slept day in and day out, I tried to mobilize resources. Since she went to a private school, the faculty and administration were only too happy to put a plan together so that she would have extra time into the summer to finish her essential work. I arranged for the Board of Ed to sent tutors, if needed. I hired a math tutor to work with Rachel, only I never knew if she could stay awake for a session.

Days and weeks went by, with very slow progress. Finally, late in May, I sent her back to school. The Head of School said if Rachel needed a nap, she would make a place for her, but it was important that she attend as many classes as she could.

And so it continued through the following few weeks, as I constantly contacted the school, monitoring her progress. She finally got through it. In fact, she had started driver education before her illness and managed to finish and ace her driving tests in record time.

I learned something about Rachel then. When she is truly determined and committed to something, she makes it happen. She went to driving school almost every day, rather than a couple of times a week, like many other kids.

Junior year was rough for Rachel. I constantly reminded her that she needed to work really hard to get into a good school. I hired a math tutor and a science tutor, but it still wasn't great.

Senior year was the time to apply to colleges. I was worried sick, and Rachel had what I thought was an unrealistic attitude about her chances for some schools. We visited University of Arizona, Rachel's top choice.

The admissions counselor didn't seem very hopeful about her chances. He told her that her first semester grades would have to be looked at and they had to be better than her previous grades.

The light came on in Rachel's head. I could see it come on! She committed to the counselor that she would do better, and she did - her best grades ever! She had made the commitment.

Rachel was two months into her freshman college year when I got the call. Earlier she had wanted to join a sorority and did. She had wanted to find a roommate and be in one of the best dorms and she made that happen.

Now I was getting a call from her, telling me that her blocked ear problem she had been complaining about was more than an infection. She needed to have her adenoids and tonsils out.

I was flipping out. Could it really be that serious? Couldn't she hold off until winter break? Could she really manage to miss a few weeks of school and not end up on academic probation?

Rachel made all the preparations herself. She scheduled the surgery, had meetings with her teachers, spoke to her advisor. Fate was sealed.

My husband and I flew out to be with her and take care of her. He left on Sunday, but I stayed with her in a hotel until the following Thursday, when I took her back to her dorm.

It nearly broke my heart when I dropped her off, but as I learned a few years earlier, she really can take care of herself pretty darn well. She was taking and scheduling her medications, eating and drinking as she was supposed to, getting lots of rest and felt eager to get back to classes.

And I learned something about myself, too, that it is really hard for me to let her go and not always have to come to the rescue. Rachel is a fine, talented, and mature young woman on her own - and I love her so much!