Jane's* Story

Facing my fears has never been my forte. I have always known that FEAR is just False Evidence Appearing Real, but never really took it to heart. Until this summer came around. 

This summer, I traveled to Washington D.C., where I spent two weeks taking news writing classes and learning how to be a leader at American University.

One of the first people I met was a girl named Jane*. She had traveled from Massachusetts, was taking an animation class, and was awfully quiet.

Jane and I made small talk until more girls began to move into the dorm rooms around us. Actually, I’m pretty sure I talked for the majority of the time, which is surprising considering how shy I am. 

As more and more people came in, Jane and I moved further and further apart. Before I knew it, my first friend at camp was nowhere to be seen.

But later that night everyone was divided into small groups, each group complete with a team adviser. When I got to the first meeting, I was relieved to see Jane there and sat next to her right away.

By that time, everyone in the group knew that Jane was a little … different. She was more than quiet. She barely spoke at all. Whenever a few people would ask her questions, she would get flustered and wave her hands in front of her face, as if trying to shield it from embarrassment.

Nicole*, our team adviser, gave Jane a leadership challenge to curb her shyness. Her challenge was to throw her hands up and scream “YES I CAN!” in the loudest voice possible.

Everyday we would try to get Jane to yell the three magical words, and everyday we went back to our dormitories unsatisfied.

After a while, some got frustrated. Why couldn’t she just do it? All she had to do was scream three words. That’s it. Was she trying to get attention? Well, if she was, it was getting annoying.

At one meeting, my small group of friends went out to the hall to work on a group project. One minute we were collaborating on the project, and the next minute, we were laughing our heads off about Jane.

William* started off the roast by madly waving his hands over his face and squeaking. Eric* continued by sitting in the fetal position and wailing. My friends laughed, and so did I.

How could I? Trust me, I asked myself that a million times too. When I had no friends on the first day, Jane was there for me. Even though she didn’t speak, her company was all I needed to feel secure.

On the last night before departure, each of us spoke in a circle about our experiences during the two weeks. The last person to speak was Jane.

She spoke in a very low tone and with an even lower volume about how the classes brought her out of her comfort zone. She said that she had met some “very nice people.”

Every word she said felt like a bullet, firing directly into my head. Guilt, I think that’s what they call it.

After her 20-second speech, she took a deep breath and looked around at the circle. She raised her hands up, until they were fully stretched above her head. Her mouth broke out into a smile and screamed ...

“YES I CAN!”

The whole room erupted in applause, and was followed by smothering Jane in hugs.

She did it. She really did. What may seem like a simple everyday action to most was Jane’s largest fear, and she conquered it.

Speaking in a loud voice, talking in front of a group of people, leaving her impression on her fellow classmates: These are some of the things that Jane feared before coming to American University.

And when she left on Friday, Jane didn’t just go back to her home in Massachusetts. She went home leaving a legacy, a mark on my life that isn’t going to fade.

Jane inspired me.

Everybody’s fears are different. Some fear the dark, some dragons, and some fear death.

But we can all get past these restrictions. Think about it, if you want to live life to the fullest, you cannot have a fence holding you back. Let go, just like Jane did.

I’m trying to. My biggest challenge is making the best out of situations I’m given because of petty fears of meeting new people and being out of my comfort zone.

But if I’ve learned anything this summer, it’s to be who I am, and not to let my fears and insecurities rule my life.

Because after all, FEAR is just False Evidence Appearing Real, right?  

*Names have been changed.