SOS: Donde dejarás sus huesos?

In the worst case scenario, if your son or daughter dies, where will you bury their bones? What will happen afterwards? Is the fight finally over? Or is it just beginning?

Of course your child won’t be forgotten, but seriously, what will happen? Will you talk about eating disorders, or will it become a forbidden word in your household? Will you educate others about the symptoms, effects, and treatment? Will you become a mentor for other families? Will you start a support group or write a book? Will you become active in trying to pass laws related to eating disorders?

I know that the first couple of months will be hard, but that powerful emotion can be directed into doing something about the death of your child. It’s called sublimation. That grief and that pain, the feeling of unfairness and being cheated out of time and a life, can be put to good use. Just because your child is dead, doesn’t mean that you should give up the fight.

In my Spanish 4 Honors class this year, I learned about “Los Desaparecidos,” the disappeared. This phenomenon occurred during the 70’s and 80’s in Latin America. During this time, dictators ruled the country, using fear and harsh punishments as their main tools. The military government kidnapped citizens for traitorous words, actions, or suspicious activity. Some people didn’t even do anything wrong, they were just there in the wrong place at the wrong time. Most captured people were simply scapegoats for the government. There no notices or warnings; the people were there one day and gone the next. No one knew of their whereabouts or if they were even alive. Other countries’ governments wanted to get involved and stop this, but the dictators denied any charges or crimes.

You must be asking by now, why am I telling you this and what does it have to do with eating disorders? In response to this phenomenon, many groups were formed, such as the Mothers of Plaza de Mayo in Argentina and the Committee of Mothers and Relatives of Political Prisoners/Disappeared/Assassinated Persons of El Salvador. The majority of these groups were created by women who had never been involved in politics but simply demanded to know the truth. These women protested and have marched every Thursday at 3:30 in the afternoon every week, no matter rain or shine. They continue this fight even to this day, long after their loved ones were taken from them. The mothers are a symbol of courage, leading the struggle for justice. Yet justice is unaware of their existence.

I want you to do two things after you read this article. First, I want you to seriously think about what would happen and what you would do if and when your child dies. Second, no matter what your resolve is, start acting on that resolve right now. It doesn’t seem right that you should be fighting harder when your child is dead than when they are alive. Start fighting today. If you start fighting after your child dies, you will help more people. But if you start fighting today, you can save the life of the person you love most. Do it before it’s too late. The reason for regrets in your life shouldn’t be missed opportunities.