SOS: Too Cool for Regular School

We all know that not everything goes as planned when it comes to eating disorders. This includes schooling. Eating disorders are very isolating.

The teen years (when eating disorders usually start) are also extremely important in that everything suddenly revolves around friends. These two events provide for a volatile combination. The kids cannot handle the social scene at school when they’re in the middle of a war inside themselves.

They’re ashamed of their disorder. They suddenly now feel uncomfortable around the friends that they used to hang out with 24/7. This social conflict can influence their life so much that they can’t go to school anymore and can’t focus on their work.

Some children can’t go to their regular school anymore. Sometimes, they instead switch to independent study if they aren’t in college yet. Let me tell you, an eating disorder doesn’t just affect the social life of the sufferer. It affects all parts of life. And so that’s why switching to independent study might be the best thing that ever happened to your child. Your child may even flourish in an independent study setting. There’s less stress and less pressure. The hours are more flexible and there’s less judgment and there aren’t social demands.

On the other hand, being in independent study may accentuate the fact that eating disorders are isolating. The sufferers might miss their friends, and will definitely grieve over not being able to graduate with their class. Seeing people that they used to know will be awkward. Also, kids these days are mean and gossip travels quickly. If the child’s absence from school is not explained, rumors might come of it, which would only be that more embarrassing for the eating disorder sufferer.

If the sufferer is off at college, far away or near, it might be a good idea to bring the college student closer to home, especially if the sufferer has a relapse. State schools, junior colleges, community colleges, they’re all good.

There is nothing to be ashamed of in transferring to a different college. Whatever is good for the sufferer’s health is the right decision. And the transfer isn’t forever. It won’t be for all four years (and if it is, it’s not the worst thing in the world). It probably will last a semester, or at most, a full year. After that, when the sufferer is at a stable point, then he/she can return back to the school of their choice.

We all want to have our children grow up and go to a good college and be successful. And that dream will be realized, but it might be prolonged for a while. The most important thing isn’t whether your child will graduate within four years, or get straight A’s, or go to a top-notch school, or get a high-paying job. The most important thing is your son/daughter’s health.

All the other stuff doesn’t matter. Well, it may matter, depending on your values, but it pales in comparison to the well-being of your child. In order for your child to succeed, they have to be living. And they can’t live unless they’re in the environment that is right for them. Do what’s best for your children, not what’s best for you.

Throw your pride out the window once and for all, and face reality.