Weekends Don't Work For Me

It’s true: Weekends don’t work for me, at least, not most of the time. They just never measure up to expectations. How can that be? How can anyone prefer the Monday-through-Friday routine? 

That’s just the point. Weekends feel empty and purposeless. I need structure. I need specific appointments, assignments – an itinerary, an agenda. I need to know what I am going to be doing each day, and then I can work any leisure activities around it.

The funny thing is, I have felt this way as long as I can remember. After college, for example, I moved to South Jersey to teach. I didn’t know anyone there. I tried to make plans with the other teachers, and sometimes it happened, but usually they had family commitments or “couple time.” I didn’t really want to eat out by myself or go to a movie. Often, I just went to a mall. There were four local malls; I could switch off. Still, it felt like I was wasting time, and I guess I was. I was alone and lonely. 

I worked hard as a teacher. It was emotionally draining. I have had many other careers and jobs since then that were also draining in some way – mentally, intellectually. But, still, I couldn’t really face the weekend. I couldn’t feel recharged by doing what other people consider to be relaxing: Just chilling, lying around, sleeping late, watching TV.

It just didn’t work for me.

I have always felt my internal clock ticking, that feeling that I am wasting precious time, that I need to be “doing something” – something cultural, something healthy, something to nourish and challenge my intellect – before the clock stops. 

Ironically, I am not working now, but I still prefer weekdays. I’m not sure why. Well, during the week, I sometimes have doctor appointments, I get to watch “The View” if I am home. I can talk to recruiters about job possibilities. I have appointments!

I can talk to old friends on the phone when they have finished their work day. On weekends, when I can do “anything” and my husband is not working, I feel more limited. I don’t feel comfortable calling friends because it’s family time. My husband and I go through a similar exercise most weekends: “What do you want to do?” “I don’t know, what do YOU want to do?”

It’s tiring, it’s old, it’s too many trips to Home Depot.

Maybe I should give up trying to understand the psychology behind my frustration. I have actually googled “I hate weekends” and have found that others have a similar dilemma.

Maybe I should join a weekend-hating support group. Maybe I should try harder to “make appointments” for the weekend.

Or maybe I should just get a weekend job in a restaurant and listen to customers ask each other, “What do you want?” “I don’t know.

What do YOU want?”