What College Counselors Wish Parents Knew About the Application Process

Parents often assume something that I wish were true: there's a magical checklist out there that, if followed to a T, will get your child into their dream school. In reality, college admission in the US includes a lot of "it depends” scenarios. College admissions depend on the school, your child’s major, your legacy status, their GPA and test scores, their interests and extracurriculars, and on where you attended high school. Getting into a dream school is messy, and messy work requires a human touch.

Passion Beats Polish Every Time

Students who treat college admission like a checklist, or who ask, "What should I do that will look good," often struggle the most. In contrast, high schoolers who do things out of genuine love, enthusiasm, and passion are always more successful. 

If a student isn't interested in an activity, a class, a volunteer activity, or a project, we recommend having them move on to something that does engross them 

Colleges don't care as much about the well-rounded student as they do about the well-rounded class. Allow your kids to go deep and geek out!

Get Involved Early and Then Let Them Do Their Own Thing

If you're going to get involved in your child's college search and application process, it should be more at the beginning, during junior year. 

I have parents who wait until their kid is about to submit before they say they want to look over the essay or add a couple more schools to the list. This adds a ton of stress to an already overwhelmed student. 

Help Them Narrow the Field

Help your child build parameters and guardrails to narrow their search. There are thousands of schools to choose from, and it's overwhelming. 

It's cruel to allow your child to go through the hard work of applying to a $90K per year school only to tell them after they've been admitted that you can't afford it. Don't let them apply in the first place. The same goes for schools that are geographically impractical or don’t offer their potential major. 

Your child will be grateful that you've helped them narrow the field of options.

Remember, You Are Not Going to College With Them

Play dumb and show more curiosity than expertise. Ask questions; follow their lead. You're not just trying to get them admitted; you're trying to help them succeed as independent college students. 

Be a resource, help them answer their questions, and be an advocate for them, but remember that you are not going to college with them. Your job is to get them ready for this first big leap into adulthood, not to plow the way for them.

Alex Ellison, Founder and Head Guide, Throughline Guidance

Alex Ellison launched her independent consulting practice in 2013 under the name Dunce, LLC, just to add some levity to what can be a stressful topic: college and career planning. She writes and lectures extensively on careers and college readiness and has been a featured speaker at SXSW and TEDx. She is the author of Go Your Own Way: 7 Student-Centered Paths to the Best College Experience and the creator of the Go Your Own Way Student Archetype Quiz used in schools and by individuals to jump-start their college search. She is a co-author of Your Hidden Genius. Alex holds a BA from Northwestern University, a Master's in Public Policy from the University of Nevada, Reno, and a certificate in college counseling from UCLA Extension School. She lives in Santa Cruz, California. Learn more about her work at Throughline Guidance.