An Ode to The Parlor

It's a packed night at our favorite bar, and my roommates and I are weaving our way through the crowd to get in line for the bathroom. Chris, one of the funniest people in social situations I’ve ever seen, takes this opportunity to hit on every girl we pass on our way.

He doesn’t come at them with a, “Hey, come here often?,” or anything like that—that would be way too normal for him. Instead, he catches girls who are in the middle of conversations with their friends, and before saying a word to them, gives them an innocent kiss on the top of their head—then just sits back and awaits their reaction to his move.

Ninety percent of the girls met him with a, “What the hell are you doing?” He'd just chalk that one up as a defeat and move on. Then I’m the one trailing right behind him and apologizing to those girls as we make our way to the bathroom. This happened four times in one trip across the bar.

Unfortunately, stories like this are a thing of the past, as has been closed since September. The manner in which it was closed, however, has been the subject of much controversy.

In its heyday, The Parlor was definitely the #1 night spot (particularly for 20-somethings) in the area. Though it was labeled as a sports bar, it had nightclub-like lines out the door every Friday and Saturday night—sometimes Thursdays as well. This misleading label wound up being the bar’s undoing, but we’ll get into that in a bit. With the thriving success of a late-night hub of drunkenness, came an understandable uproar from the neighbors who had to deal with the noise night after night.

As rumors started to fly around that The Parlor was getting in trouble for the noise and might get shut down, the loyal patrons became just as upset as those neighbors. I know because my roommates and I were some of the most loyal.

Those rumors started to be more serious one night when I came to The Parlor with a group of five people. We parked in the residential area just north of Wilshire, and (besides our sober driver) were probably being a little loud on our way down 15th St. All of the sudden, a guy comes up to us and asks us to be quiet. But it wasn’t a disgruntled neighbor like we thought at first—it was an employee of The Parlor! They had actually staffed people to sweep the streets around their bar and try to keep people quiet on their way in. It felt like we were on our way to a secret speakeasy in the 1920s.

Our drunk philosophy on the matter at hand came out in conversation at the bar. It was probably much more slurred and much less eloquent, but the point we were trying to make was this: “Why would you move into a place next to one of the most popular bars in Santa Monica if you couldn’t take the noise?” A seemingly valid point, especially to someone who did little-to-no research on the details of the city’s complaint and the specifics of the legal issues at hand.

After reading several articles, I see good points from both sides of the war. The Parlor’s undoing was the fact that it was labeled as a restaurant but became more of a nightclub/bar. This kind of took away the “These neighbors should have known better” factor for me, because living next to a restaurant and living next to a night club are two very different things. But at the same time, could The Parlor be punished for the success it achieved? Perhaps larger success than it anticipated/was ready to control?

It is clear that The Parlor was going to be made an example of, that businesses that don’t take City Hall’s regulations seriously will pay the price. Councilman Kevin McKeown released a statement at the time of Parlor’s closing, stating, “We went through months of due process and gave The Parlor every opportunity to run a successful restaurant in compliance with the law. [The Parlor’s closing] is not only a relief for the neighbors but lets our many local businesses who play by the rules know that we won't let them be subject to unfair competition by scofflaws.”

Pretty clear that this became a personal vendetta, right?

No matter which side you agree with, the fact is that The Parlor is gone. Nothing has occupied the space at 1514 Wilshire since its closing, and there seems to be a void yet to be filled. Drunks will just move on to the next bar, no doubt, but there seems to be room for a thriving bar for 20-somethings in this area now—just not in the same space that The Parlor used to occupy.