The Daddy Diaries: Working for the Boss

As a new stay-at-home dad, I feel as if I have gone back to school and my first class is "Gregory 101."

The objective of this course is to study the behavioral traits of my specific kid and learn to interpret the signals of when he's hungry, wet, tired, bored, scared, gassy, constipated, too warm, too cold, too upright, too flat, in need of being burped, bathed, bounced, swung, swaddled, held or even have snot siphoned from his nose (this part is kind of gross). There seems to be so much to learn, and it's all a bit overwhelming.

, and I was about ready to quit, I'm happy to report that every day with my son since then has been much better and progressively more fun. 

I learned quickly that, if we are going to have a good day together, I need to be sensitive to his rhythms of feeding and play and sleep and then adjust my schedule around his routine. The better student I can be at decoding his signals and anticipating his needs, the less fuss there is between stages of the day and the more enjoyable it is for both of us. This little professor is demanding and doing his best to whip me into shape. I take my cues from him and, simply put, he's the boss.

A typical day starts with an early feeding before his mom goes to work, followed by a long morning nap. After he wakes he eats again and then we have a little play time before heading out to run errands with the stroller. This first cycle of eating, sleeping, and activity takes us through lunch time and then we basically repeat the cycle in the afternoon. While the mornings go pretty smoothly, the afternoon hours are a bit harder. He doesn't sleep as long and he's more fussy as the day progresses. I'm still trying to figure out how to best navigate this part of the day.

It may seem obvious, but life before having a child was a lot different. When it was just my wife and me, we didn't have to worry too much about time or being in a rush to leave somewhere or coordinating our schedule around the feeding and sleeping schedule of another. There was a certain freedom of the B.C. (Before Children) era, but now that seems to be history.

And if we push it, we pay for it.

All three of us went to the zoo last week and our baby enjoyed the park for nearly two hours before starting to show signs of being tired and hungry. We could tell it was probably time to leave but we hadn't seen the giraffes yet and so decided to make one last stop. It turns out it was one stop too many. We pushed him too far, and what started as a really nice day ended with tears and screams. 

On the positive side, having a routine and taking my cues from him not only makes for less fuss, but also makes possible for some really precious moments during the day. It's really cool to see that, when his basic needs are taken care of, my son really is a very happy baby and our face-to-face play time is absolutely the best. 

For the first few months he was, honestly, kind of a little blob—certainly a cute little blob, but not very expressive, and he just sat there like a sack of flour. But over last several weeks he's come alive and is so animated and responsive to people and his surroundings. His eyes focus, his fingers grip with a surprising strength, he moves his arms and legs with vigor and, best of all, he smiles and laughs a lot. 

We play this game where I sit him on the couch and we face each other, then I shut my eyes and mouth really tight before popping them open really big. It's a version of Peek-a-Boo, I guess. Anyway, every time I pop open my face he cracks up with a huge smile, bright eyes, and this funny little cackle of a laugh. And it doesn't get old but the laughter grows each time I do it until we both crash into a cuddle of giggles and smiles that is just magical. And it's these moments that make it all worth it.

I want to enjoy these days because something tells me he won't find our Peek-a-Boo game quite as funny when he's a teenager.

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