Is domestic abuse always physical abuse?

Dear Gina,

My boyfriend, Jason, and I argue all the time. My mother keeps telling me Jason is abusive and I should leave him, but she just doesn’t understand him. She thinks because he has a bad temper that I shouldn’t be with him. I told her that he has never hit me before and he never would. My mom says that he is a bully because when Jason gets angry he slams doors and punches the wall. Last week, she was horrified because Jason threw a remote control at me and hit me in the eye after I called him names. Jason felt really bad and immediately apologized. My mom says that I should leave now, before we have children together. I tried to explain that the fight was my fault. She says that no one has the right to treat me like that. What do you think?

-- Trina

Dear Trina,

Abuse is more than being hit. It usually involves any type of force or fear. I have listed some of the warning signs of abuse. It sounds like the two of you have a toxic relationship. What you do about it is up to you.

God Bless You,
--Gina Famularo

Warning Signs of Domestic Violence:

• Throwing things/ Breaking things
• Taking one’s cellphone
• Preventing someone from making a phone call
• Preventing someone from leaving a room or the house
• Going through one’s purse or wallet
• Going through one’s cellphone
• Hacking into someone’s accounts
• Slamming doors
• Using money to control the other person
• Punching walls
• Disabling one’s car
• Taking one’s car keys
• Keeping someone up at night
• Spying on someone
• Excessive telephone calls/ text messages or e-mails
• Refusing to leave someone alone
• Following someone from room to room
• Following someone in his or her vehicle
• Hiding one’s personal property
• Locking someone out of the house

• Leaving someone stranded in a strange area
• Using the child to punish the other parent