THERAPIST THURSDAY: Dealing with Distractions

One of the most common issues I deal with in therapy is people being easily distracted. Rather it’s an adult or a child who is struggling with this issue, there are strategies that can be very effective in improving distractibility.

First of all, sometimes a person is easily distracted and it is not being identified as that. Here are some of the signs distractibility is the challenge:

1. The person goes to do something, and ends up doing something else altogether. A person should be able to go to pick something up in anther room or complete a task and just do that one thing. If you (or someone you know) have difficulty with this and always find yourself doing something else along the way, you may be dealing with a distractibility issue.

2. Tasks consistently take longer than they should to complete. Do you notice that other people complete tasks quicker than you? Does it seem to take you double the time to do something than it takes for others to do it?

3. People are often complaining that they are having to wait on the person. If you are always the last one out the door, or the person who is always going back in because you “forgot” something, distractibility could be an issue for you.

4. The person is ALWAYS losing or misplacing things. If you never know where your keys or your cell phone are, or you find yourself often looking for things you “just had”, it is likely that distractibility is a challenge for you.

5. The person can not seem to tell a story from beginning to end without throwing in lots of insignificant details. If you seem to lose people’s attention in the middle of a story and find yourself thinking that you should get to the point, but continue to throw in those details anyway, you may have a distractibility issue. This is because you are speaking the way your brain works. It takes in these details and has difficulty filtering them out as not relevant, which is what leads to the distraction.

So, you’ve read the list above, and this sounds EXACTLY like you (or someone you love)! What can you do about it? Often times distractibility is a symptom of ADHD. If you suspect this may be the case, it is important to get a proper assessment and diagnosis, so the correct treatment plan can be put in place to minimize the negative impact ADHD can have on a person’s life. This will help the person learn to understand the challenges of the diagnosis and can make a huge difference on the overall functioning of the individual. A proper treatment plan can greatly impact the extent to which the diagnosis impacts the individual’s life. Sometimes distractibility is a symptom of too much going on in the person’s life. In this case, it is important to evaluate their work-life balance and make adjustments where necessary. Last week’s article can help with this. Whatever the cause of the distractibility may be, here are some tools that can assist in minimizing the impact of it:

1. Make lists. It sounds like such a simple thing to do, but lists can be very helpful in keeping a person on track. Put the list somewhere where it can be viewed, or at least referred to often.

2. Set a timer. When you sit down to do a task, set a timer for the amount of time you think it should take you to do the task. It is often helpful if the timer is one that makes noise as the seconds tick away, as this is a reminder to the person to stay on task. If the timer goes off and the task is not yet complete, the timer can be re-set to the amount of time the person thinks they need to complete the task. A person who is easily distracted usually has au skewed view of time, so setting a timer makes time something they are focusing on in a more deliberate manner and can help them manage their time more effectively.

3. Minimize distractions, especially electronics. Electronics have frankly made everyone a little more distracted. Putting that phone in the kitchen while you work in another room can be very helpful. Or put it on airplane mode. Other distractions such as noise, television, or people talking can also be challenging when completing a task, especially with something that requires concentrated thinking, like homework. Take some time to think about what distracts your mind and then make a plan to eliminate or reduce those things.

4. Say aloud what needs to be done. Before completing a task, repeat aloud what it is that you need to focus on. It may feel weird to do, but it causes you to think about the task in a more deliberate way. It allows you to think it consciously, say it, and hear it. This makes it much more likely it will be something you keep your focus on.

5. If giving directives to a distracted child, ask them to make eye contact with you and repeat back what you said. This will improve their ability to keep their focus on the task once they leave you to do the task.

6. Make a mental checklist. Be mindful about what you need to accomplish and say it in your head. Then mentally check off each thing as you do it. As discussed above, writing it down helps significantly too!

7. Set a location for the things you consistently lose. Make sure the location is convenient and easy and make a habit to always put the thing there. For example, if you often lose your keys or misplace your wallet, put a basket by the door you come in, and make a habit of putting your keys and wallet there as soon as you walk in the door, before you do anything else.

8. Work on mindfulness at lease three times a day. Take three minutes three times a day to close your eyes, take deep breaths, and focus only on your breathing. When other things enter your mind (as they will), gently remind yourself that you are only thinking about your breathing and that you will think about other things later. This will be hard at first, as your brain is used to being unfocused and distracted. But as you practice it, it will become easier. Doing this is training your brain to focus and it is also slowing everything down to allow yourself a little more balance in your life.

9. Slow down. This is especially important if you suspect that your distractibility is more about your life being out of balance than it is about a diagnosis. If you are constantly thinking about the next thing you need to do, your brain is never fully focused on what you are currently doing. This will lead to increased memory loss, walking into a room and forgetting why you entered it, looking for your phone when it is actually in your hand, and other mindless issues like this. These are all signs you need to slow down a bit and work on re-focusing yourself on the here and now. If you find that this is you, read last week’s article here on life balance.

In this busy time in which we live, distractibility can impact anyone, and I think most people find themselves distracted from time to time. It is my hope that this information can help you differentiate if your distractibility (or that of someone you love) is just a symptom of a life too busy or if it is something more. It is also my hope that the list of suggestions will provide some assistance in reducing distractibility, regardless of the cause.

Rochelle Whitson is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice in Temecula, CA.

She can be reached by email at meetme4therapy@gmail.com.

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