THERAPIST THURSDAY: How Do YOU Manage Stress?

Stress has been linked to every major killer in our country; making effective stress management a must for us all…

What is stress? This may seem like a silly question, when it’s something we are all so familiar with. But a lot of us may not understand what is actually happening physiologically in our bodies when stress is high. Stress describes our response to experiences that are challenging emotionally or physiologically. When we enter a stressful state, this is first occurring in our brains, which has determined that something threatening is happening. The brain sends signals to the different systems in our body, activating them. Acute stress activates our flight or fight responses, but chronic stress will wear down our bodies over time. Our bodies actually age more quickly when we live in a state of chronic stress, we are more prone to issues like heart disease and obesity, and our lifespan is likely to be much shorter. Our immune system is compromised, which leads to more illness, and our metabolic and psychological functions are impacted, among many other systems in our body.

So, when you think of stress, don’t simply see it as something minor or “in our heads”, realize the true impact it can have on us over time. It is not just a psychological state, it is also a physical state. And it is very important to the whole of who we are that we learn to manage and reduce our stress in a very mindful and purposeful way, so we are able to live a long and healthy life and create happiness and peace within our bodies and minds.

In this high-paced and stressful society in which we all reside, practicing regular stress management techniques is critical if we are to achieve and maintain this sense of happiness and peace. Here are some things you can start practicing TODAY:

1. Relaxation breathing

This sounds like the simplest concept in the world. In fact, so simple that I see it so often get overlooked or dismissed. But the way in which we take in and expel the air we breath can have a profound impact on both body and mind. In fact, research has found that taking just five slow, deep breaths actually physically cools the emotional centers of the brain. Deep breathing can relax all of the different systems mentioned above that get activated when our bodies enter a stressed state. So, take some time to do this regularly. One helpful idea is to spend just three to five minutes practicing relaxation breathing three times per day, perhaps around meal time, so as to make it a regular part of your routine. One can start with setting a timer for one minute and working on breath for that time, and then increase the time to whatever feels reasonable and relaxing for you over time.

2. Meditation and/ or Yoga

Creating a regular habit of relaxation inducing practices will have a profound impact on a person’s overall stress levels. With technology, it is so easy to incorporate either meditation or yoga into one’s life. There are free videos online walking an audience through either practice, some as short as five minutes. Of course, there are also in person classes and events one can also attend. So, find something that works for you and incorporate these very helpful practices into your weekly routine.

3. Regular Exercise

Exercise has so many benefits we’ve all heard about. In addition to all of the obvious ones, it also burns off the energy caused by stress. It allows our bodies and therefore our brains to return to a relaxed state. It causes our brain to release calming chemicals that help to reverse the process in our minds and bodies produced by the stress we’ve been under.

4. Body Scanning and Visualization

These are specific ways to meditate. Body scanning focuses on noticing different parts of your body and the state each is in and then focusing on letting go of the stressful energy in that part of your body. Visualization involves using our brains to envision a relaxed environment in which to allow our bodies to begin to relax and let go of our stressors. Information and guided practices are available online for free. They take a little practice learning to discipline your mind, but they are very helpful and can have a profound impact on one’s overall stress management.

5. Practicing regular self-care

One can’t discuss stress without discussing self-care, and vice versa. Last week’s article on self-care can be found here.

6. Setting and Maintaining Appropriate Boundaries

There is so much to discuss on this topic. But the summary is that we all must have appropriate boundaries in our relationships, rather personal or professional. It is important to make sure we are not allowing others to take advantage of us, that we are not taking on more than we should, and that we can say NO when that is necessary and appropriate. It is also important that we learn not to take on the problems of others, especially if we find ourselves working harder on a problem than is the person who has the problem. A good rule of thumb is to be sure we NEVER GIVE MORE THAN WE CAN AFFORD TO GIVE. The word “afford” in this context refers to what things require emotionally, the time required, the money, the energy, and the effort. If any of that is more than we can “afford”, if it drains us too much or causes too much stress, or reduces our own resources too much, then we can not “afford” it and should not be giving it.

Stress management is an ongoing process. In my opinion, it is not something we achieve and then can forget about. Rather, it is something that requires periodic check-ins with ourselves. Time to reflect and evaluate. Time to change, when needed. We must all be mindful of our stress levels and make deliberate and purposeful changes when change is required. A person's stress level is one of the most important indicators of overall health, so it must be attended to. If we do so regularly, we are more likely to live a long and fulfilling life.

Rochelle Whitson is a psychotherapist in private practice in Temecula, CA. For more articles like this, subscribe to her blog at www.meetme4therapy.com.

Ms. Whitson can be reached at meetme4therapy@gmail.com.