THERAPIST THURSDAY: I’m So Stressed Out!

According to the American Psychological Association’s annual “Stress in America” survey, citizens are reporting the most significant increase in stress in the report’s ten-year history!

When looking at stress and what to do about it, I think it’s important to first understand what it is. When we experience stress, our bodies enter a state of arousal. Our brain tells our body that there is some sort of danger present, be that physical or emotional. The sympathetic nervous system takes over and our body enters a state of increased arousal. Our heart rate increases, our energy increases, and our strength increases. This is very helpful when there is indeed danger present! It can be lifesaving. But if this process is occurring and there is no real danger present, we are left with tense muscles, increased stress hormones, and extra energy that can make us feel like we are about to jump out of our skin. These physiological changes make us feel tense and impatient. Even the little things feel big and can set us off. This aroused state is supposed to be temporary, so when we are in it long term, it is very bad for us. It wears us down, makes us more susceptible to illness, and is physically and emotionally draining. In fact, stress has been tied to every major disease in our country today. So, what can we do about it?Combating stress requires a multi-faceted approach. One of the first places to start is to increase your self-care. Be sure to get enough sleep. Not getting enough quality sleep tears down your body in many ways and makes it difficult for you to stay healthy. Nutrition is another key way to increase self-care. Being sure to eat often and to eat foods with high nutritional value is critical in keeping your bodies strong enough to handle whatever stressors do come your way.

Exercise is another very important factor in battling stress. Because stress leads to increased energy, having a healthy way to burn off that energy is critical. If a person does not exercise, that increased energy stays stuck in the body in the form of muscle tension and a feeling of internal pressure. Of course, regular exercise also has great long-term effects on the body by making it stronger and more resilient, which increases its ability to manage stress when it occurs. So, exercise has benefits in the short term and the long term for stress reduction.

Meditation is another very useful tool in battling stress. Taking time daily to stop and relax and focus on relaxation. These days there are lots of apps a person can use to do a meditation, and there a variety of ranges of times it can take, from a few minutes to much longer. It certainly does not have to be something that takes up a lot of a person’s day. Meditation helps the parasympathetic nervous system take over and the body return to a relaxed state.

Deep breathing is another useful activity to combat stress. Deep breathing is often used as part of meditation, but if you are in a situation where meditation is not possible at that moment, you can do the deep breathing alone. To do this, you want to focus on taking a slow, deep breath in through your nose. Focus on expanding both your chest and your abdomen to capacity. Then hold the air for a moment prior to exhaling. Exhale slowly through your mouth, making a puckering motion with the lips to allow the air to exit slowly. Push all the air out, being sure to collapse the chest and abdominal areas. This allows for the maximum range within the breath and will maximize the relaxation effect from the exercise.

Mindfulness is another important tool in managing stress. When focusing mindfulness, take a few minutes several times a day to just stop and be still. Close your eyes and focus on the here and now. Ask yourself about each of your senses. “What am I hearing?” “What do I smell?” “What am I feeling on my skin?” etc. Take the time to slow everything down and allow your brain to let everything other than the here and now float away. If you find yourself thinking about other matters, gently remind yourself to return your focus to your senses and the here and now. Doing this for just a few minutes can greatly increase relaxation within the body and reduce stress. For more information on mindfulness, read my past article on the issue here.

Working on gratitude will have a positive effect on stress as well. Take a few minutes at least three times a day and reflect on what you are grateful for. Take some time to look around and look at the good things in your life. If your kids were driving you crazy today, take a moment to focus on what you love about them (yes, I know, this can be a stretch at times). Focusing on gratitude regularly improves both mood and stress level.

When dealing with stress, be sure to also manage your expectations. Take some time to look at what you really expect from yourself and possibly from others. Ask yourself if these expectations are realistic. You may find that some of your stress is self-imposed and is due to having expectations that are unreasonable or unrealistic. If this is the case, work on making the adjustment.

Lastly, I can not discuss stress without taking a look at work-life balance. I encourage everyone to examine the flow of your life. Ask yourself if how things are currently structured really works for you. I do not mean using the standard of if the things you do are physically possible, but rather do they create the kind of happiness and satisfaction you want in life. Ask yourself if you are giving yourself enough down time, if you have time to relax and time for enjoyment. If you even have time for the basic necessities like sleep and eating well. I can not tell you how many times a person wants to come see me in therapy to deal with anxiety and stress issues, and yet when we try to schedule time for a session, they do not have any time in their day or evening to even come to an hour appointment. Managing stress in this kind of situation must include an evaluation of the flow of life and determining if it is really working for you! If it isn’t, I urge you to make changes before it catches up to you!

I’ve provided a lot of suggestions for stress reduction. My suggestion is that you will pick out a few of them and put them into daily practice. Be mindful of what your body is telling you. Notice the times when you are in a state of arousal and use the techniques to help manage it. If we all increase our awareness of our stress level, we can make the little changes that will have a big impact on our overall quality of life!

If you have a topic you would like addressed on Therapist Thursday, feel free to email Rochelle at meetme4therapy@gmail.com.

Rochelle Whitson, is a psychotherapist in private practice in Temecula, CA. For more articles like this, subscribe to her blog at www.meetme4therapy.com.