THERAPIST THURSDAY: Will You Be TOO BUSY This Holiday Season?

There are many reasons why this is the case. Probably the number one reason people are stressed during the holidays is how much they have to do (followed closely by how much money they spend).

The holidays are sooooo busy, we have to shop, we have to cook, we do holiday cards, we have to decorate, we have to manage the big things and the little details. On top of all of this, between school events for our kids, work parties, friend parties, and family parties, we have about a million events to attend. And then there are all the gifts for all the people in our lives; when we include kids’ teachers, hairdressers, crossing guards, co-workers, neighbors, the list can be never-ending! And then there’s wrapping all of those gifts to have everything picture-perfect by Christmas or Hanukkah. Just thinking about it is exhausting!

Here are three tips to help with the holiday stress of being TOO BUSY:

1. Evaluate each thing you do.

Take a hard look at it. Ask yourself, “Is it necessary?”, “Does it bring me joy?”, “Is the amount of effort and time it costs me worth the benefit that comes from it?” If you can not answer “YES” to at least one of these questions, it’s probably time to ditch that particular activity. (Number 3 below will help you be able to do this).

2. Is there a way to cut corners?

I know, I know, we were all taught to believe there should be no cutting corners when it comes to the holidays. But… I’ll tell you, that belief causes us a lot of trouble! The truth is, there are things we can do that no one will even notice. For example, maybe instead of making that homemade peppermint candy, you just buy some this year; maybe instead of that plate full of homemade cookies you deliver to your neighbors each year that take you all day to bake, you buy cookies or a bottle of sparkling cider and give it to the neighbors with a pretty bow on it. One of the most unique and special gifts I ever received from a neighbor was a flower bulb in a little pot. Super special, inexpensive, and quick to prepare! I guarantee if you look around, there are ways to reduce your work load without really reducing how special the holidays are.

3. Change your rigid thinking!

It’s so easy to think things HAVE to be done the way they always have. I know I can be guilty of this way of thinking too, especially when it comes to holiday traditions. But, if you allow yourself to be more flexible, not only will you find ways to cut corners, but you won’t stress so much when things don’t go perfectly (which is yet another holiday stressor). If after you look at your to-do list and ask yourself the questions above, you decide it’s time to ditch an activity or change something up, take a deep breath and allow yourself to let go. Tell yourself, “it’s ok if I give my neighbor a bottle of sparkling cider instead of homemade cookies.” Quite a few years ago when my kids were still little, I realized I was missing out on the post-present-opening time of checking out all of the presents because I was too busy preparing Christmas dinner. While I was in the kitchen, my husband and kids were on the floor checking out all of their goodies and making memories. So, I made a difficult decision to begin ordering out for Christmas dinner. And guess what? No one noticed or even cared! The restaurant-bought ham was plenty delicious, though (I’d like to believe) maybe not quite as good as my homemade ham. Now, each year, I just put the ham dinner I buy in some nice serving dishes and throw them in the oven to heat up. And I’m on the floor or couch checking out all the stuff too! Sometimes I even stay in my pajamas most of the day! And I love it! It’s amazing how freeing it is when you give up rigid ideas. Try it, you may like it too!

Whatever it is you decide to change or ditch all-together, keep in mind that what the holidays are really about is spending time together. The memories are made in being together in an undistracted way. So, when we are stressed and busy, we are really missing the point. It takes a little time and work to be able to let some of this stuff go, but I guarantee you, when you do, you will have your happiest and most relaxed holiday experiences ever! And while you still may be tired afterwards, it is my hope that you also be less busy, feel more fulfilled and definitely less stressed!

For more information on reducing holiday stress, read about REDUCING STRES CAUSED BY FAMILY here and SPENDING TOO MUCH OVER THE HOLIDAYS here.

Rochelle Whitson is a licensed therapist in private practice in Temecula, CA. She can be reached by email at meetme4therapy@gmail.com.