'We Are Not Rich Nor Famous, But Our Life Was More Than Imagined'

TEMECULA, CA — We at Patch receive emails from around the nation containing news tips, thoughts about stories we've covered, and questions about community events. Every now and then, we get a note that's especially impactful.

With permission from the author, we are copying one such letter we received upon asking readers for topic suggestions for our "Therapist Thursdays" column on Temecula Patch.

I left home when I was just 16 years old. Why, in the summer of 1963, my family decided to move to California. My step-father had a job offer and he had relatives in California. I had my driver license so I was able to help with the driving to California. I had no intention of staying out here in California, so my priority was to find a job, make money so that I could go back to Connecticut to finish my last year of high school. Which I did, which is another story.

I met the girl who was later to become my wife when she was just 14 and I was 17 years old. I knew that there was something about her that no one had even come close to being that interesting. You could say that she was my "Soul Mate". People talk about soul mates, but are they really soul mates?

When my wife was 16 and I was 18, we ran away and got married. After over 52 years of marriage she passed away, losing her two year battle with Pancreatic Cancer.

When we said "I Do" we did! We committed ourselves to each other. How many people today when they say I do... Do?

You might say that we grew up together and one of the things that we both enjoyed was our zest for life.

She let me lead and she was always there to support me. Our lives became more than we ever imagined, even though her mother thought that I was a bum and continued to tell her daughter that she was a mistake.

As each day passes, it gets harder to continue on without her. Is it possible to die of a broken heart........ In a word, YES!

You read stories where people who have been married for a long time die within months of each other. I believe that it would be safe to say that they died of a broken heart.

I have been singularly blessed to have found work in a profession I loved, close to home and to have been able to share it with a beautiful young, supportive woman that I fell in love with, so many years ago and spent some 52 plus years of marriage, before she passed away.

Our life had become, exciting, uplifting, exhilarating, dismaying sometimes and our appreciation of life came from living it - being a part of its struggle, its sacrifice, its tragedy, its self-denial, its heartache.

My wife would tell everyone that the best thing that ever happened to her was the birth of our son and the second best thing that ever happened to her was the birth of our Granddaughter.

Neither her parents nor my parents ever owned a home, so when we purchased our first home, it was to be our anchor, our safe haven, something that was going to be ours and provide our 4 year old son with safety and roots.

When we closed escrow, I didn’t have a job because I was laid off, due to lack of work and when we received the keys, after the close of escrow, my wife and I went to our new home that evening and she burst into tears, as soon as we walked in. They were not tears of joy because we finally had our first home, but rather the home was a complete mess, with feces on the walls and floor. It was just a real mess and the fact that I didn’t have a job, just added to her frustration.

I promised her to let me take care of it, and she would be very proud of her home when I am done. I found a job, so I spent my evenings and weekends cleaning up the house. After approximately 3 weeks, I brought my wife back to her home and this time she had tears of joy. The house was clean and move in ready. We got all of our friends to help us move in and this would be their first look at our new home.

You know? We are all guilty of taking our other half for granted from time to time. We may forget to give a goodbye kiss, say I love you or just be so caught up in what we are doing at the moment that we don't notice the very little things that mean so much to our special someone.

Please love your Sweetheart while you have the opportunity, you never know what tomorrow will bring or take away!

— Ed, Temecula, CA

"We are not rich, nor are we famous, but our life was more than we ever imagined," he told Patch while granting us permission to run his note.

In response to this letter, which Ed prefaced with a note about submitting an idea for our resident therapist to weigh in on, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Rochelle Whitson wrote the following:

Grief & Dealing With The Loss Of A Loved One: Therapist Thursday

— Attached photo of Ed and his wife before she became ill. Courtesy: Ed Hubler