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Arts & Entertainment

Woman Charged in Corpse-Slashing of Her Boyfriend's Ex

A satirical look at current events!

Woman Charged in Corpse-Slashing of Her Boyfriend’s Ex: An Oklahoma woman, who earned the trust of her boyfriend’s deceased ex-girlfriend’s family by assuring them she was a skilled makeup artist who wanted to help prepare the body for viewing, instead used a knife to remove the deceased’s breasts and a toe, stole her shoes, slashed-up the woman’s face and then painted it completely in lipstick.

Good grief, a story like this leaves me at a loss for words - but thankfully - no body parts. I don’t wanna to sound judgmental, but its sounds as if she may have a few issues. If I were her boyfriend, I’d seriously consider breaking it off with her - she seems like the jealous type. At this point, I guessing about the only person who’d even consider dating her would be Bill Cosby.

I suppose to her credit, she is probably the only person alive who could actually make Jodi Arias seem compassionate. Its people like her who give meth users a bad name. Of course, to be completely fair, there’s always the possibility she was just having a bad day. Perhaps that’s why so many Donald Trump supporters are demanding to know “why is this a crime? The victim was already dead.” One thing’s for sure, we can all be glad we don’t live in the trailer next to her.

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On a positive note, after examining her picture multiple times - I’m happy to report that I’m fairly certain that the person in this picture isn’t Flo from the Progressive Insurance commercials.

http://www.johnnyrobish.com

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