Denver Catholic Speed-Dating at Casa Bonita

LAKEWOOD, CO -- Anna Basquez, of Denver, who calls herself a “matchmaker,” held her first her Catholic speed-dating event on a Valentine’s Day in 2011 and was surprised when 70 people showed up. Basquez, has built a business bringing people together, (and not just Catholics). She says she creates a space where “intentional dating” can take place, with an aim towards marriage, not just “falling into the big dating pool in Denver,” she said.

Lakewood’s historic Casa Bonita restaurant was the site of Basquez’s most recent Catholic speed-dating event, Sunday. Fourteen men and women met to chat for five-to-seven minutes and possibly find someone they might want to follow up with later.

Basquez started the event with a prayer and gave a pep-talk to the nervous daters.

“You have to create conversations. Maybe you don’t know ‘this is definitely going to be the person I marry,’ the second you meet them,” she said. “I’ve known too many people who are now married who said if they hadn’t given it that second date, there’d be no way they’d be married.”

A former daily newspaper journalist and food critic, Basquez started with a traveling Catholic dinner group called the Last Supper Club. She keeps on the lookout for restaurants where she can bring people together.

Perhaps as an advance glimpse of married life with small children, Casa Bonita was in its full glory Sunday with raging waterfalls, stage shows and a stunt person in a gorilla suit. No flame jugglers were working this particular lunch, but some speed daters appeared to flinch at the fake gunshots punctuating their conversation.

The over-the-top Mexican restaurant opened in a mall in 1974 and has been a Denver-area institution for decades on West Colfax Avenue. Several daters said they hadn’t been inside Casa Bonita since they were kids. Others said they’d seen it parodied on the show South Park.

“I pretty much checked my preconceived notions of food at the door,” said one dater.

Daters did not partake of the arcade games or stumble through Black Bart’s Cave, the haunted tunnel. They had some speed-dating to do.

Basquez assigned them to partners, then rang a bell to signal it was time to switch seats and make notes on a cheat sheet.

So far, Basquez says her company, Catholic Speed Dating, and affiliated blind dating match service Faith Match, have been credited with 30 marriages – and that doesn't count people who used her service and later found someone to marry.

She said many are professionals, doctors, dentists, FBI agents, people who travel for work and don’t really socialize with people who would make good marriage partners. A string of nuptials after her first event led her to think she was providing a service that was needed -- and divinely inspired.

“This makes people refocus and make [dating] a priority in their lives, and not just pass up somebody they want to date,” she said. “They get a good conversation going and hopefully that’s where God steps in.”

She recommends waiting at least three months before dating exclusively and not to jump into marriage quickly. “Give it four seasons, at least. We’re not in high school anymore,” she said.

She charges around $40 per person, including a meal. She declined to reveal how much the business earns, but said it was “substantial,” adding, “It’s a 24/7 job.”

For some, taking part in the exercise opens their eyes to the redeeming qualities of an old flame. Basquez said she’s had several people who “reconciled” with an ex after participating.

“As my 71-year-old mother would say, ‘It’s not over til it’s over.’ And that means until your life is over. She’s been married for 57 years.”

Of course, many first-timers are nervous.

“Sometimes the hardest part is getting them out of their cars in the parking lot,” Basquez said. “The second hardest part is the first conversation. After that, people are less jittery.”

John from Westminster, a repeat customer, said he usually asks women about their interests and how they spend their leisure time. Seamus, an IT professional, said he never has any set questions for women because he likes to “see if there’s chemistry.” Jeff from metro Denver said he preferred meeting people in real life because online profiles leave out so much.

“You can’t tell from a photo and online dating profile whether someone is an optimist or a pessimist, or whether they are animated. [Speed dating] is a better way to get a good idea of a person in general. Plus, it forces you to get out and spend a couple hours talking to people,” he said.

Basquez always cautions daters to never write someone off. A priest she knew gave the best dating advice, she said.

“Stop looking for your clone! Look for someone who is both emotionally and spiritually mature.”

Anna’s advice for the broken hearts in the group is simple: Sometimes there aren’t answers for suffering. But “there is peace in the presence of others, even in the absence of answers,” she said, quoting a favorite author. “There’s a healing factor being among other people who are single and are facing similar challenges,” she said.

“Take an inventory of not only what you want in a partner but also what things you have to work on about yourself to be worthy of the kind of relationship you want and how you can be servant to a partner in the long term, what qualities you bring to the table as well as the ones you are working on and make a commitment to those,” her dating materials say.

“We aren’t meant to be broken-hearted for a long time. When we are intentional and focus, we can get results,” she said. “Love is a choice, not a feeling.”

At Casa Bonita, love is a cowboy show, a 30-foot waterfall and a guy in a gorilla suit.

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