Texas Tragedy: What Do You Tell Your Kids?

In 1999, Dr. Andre Newfield was just a young college student looking ahead to his career when he watched on television the horrors of Columbine High School unfold in Littleton, Colo.

Two disgruntled high school students shot and killed 12 students and one teacher as a stunned nation gasped while watching the tragedy unfold in real time that afternoon.

Now the chair of psychiatry at Hartford HealthCare's St. Vincent Medical Center in Bridgeport, Newfield is treating a young generation and their parents who, sadly, have seen this situation repeated since then — with even worse outcomes.

Tuesday's Texas tragedy, in which an 18-year-old gunman shot and killed 21 people, including 19 elementary school pupils in Ulvade, Texas., has parents statewide and nationally thinking the same thing: What do you tell your kids?

"It's sort of the key question," Newfield said Wednesday morning.

Newfield said the pandemic era, mixed with the prominence of school shootings, isn't doing today's youth any favors in the mental health department.

In general, he said parents need to be more direct and open about the scourge of shootings the older their children are.

For middle and high school parents, openly talking about the situation is best.

"If they ask about it, try to provide as much reassurance as possible," Newfield said.

According to Newfield, if the children already use cell phones and have access to various forms of social media, they won't be able to avoid information — or misinformation — of what happened.

As a result, he said its best for parents to confront the situation head-on.

Of course, elementary school massacres are not new in Connecticut, something not lost on Newfield, who like all of us, remembers the 2012 Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre in Newtown.

That shooting at the hands of a mentally disturbed, young man killed 26 people, 20 of them innocent, elementary school-aged children.

It prompted a culture in Connecticut where such nightmares are in the back of both parents' and children's minds, even as safety precautions have become the order of the day the past decade.

Newfield said parents can use that fact to provide comfort to their children, especially the younger ones who might not quite understand the sadness and horror seen on the news.

"All those things together can make people anxious in the moment,' Newfield said. "We need to be able to go to school."

He urged parents to reinforce to their children there are safety precautions in place and staff are trained for these scenarios, as scary as they are.

Newfield pointed out that, seemingly, every generation has their own, unique stressors.

Baby Boomers ducked and covered in fear the Cold War would go nuclear. Generation X was told to "just say no" to drugs and feared AIDS.

But for Millenials and Generation Z, their generational cross to bear appears to be random, savage gun violence taking place in what should be the safest of locales — schools.

"That's 100 percent," Newfield said of one of today's youths' primary source of anxiety. "'A stressor is a stressor."

Meanwhile, the state Department of Education sent out a letter outlining guidelines in dealing with the tragedy to all Connecticut school superintendents.

In addition to asking school chiefs to review their safety plans in light of an expected uptick in threats to school communities, state education officials also provided school districts with resources to help students and staff cope with the tragedy.

"We know that such a senseless tragedy, even when it occurs in another state, places additional burdens and stressors on our families, students and educators," wrote Charlene M. Russell-Tucker, Connecticut's commissioner of education. "As educators, the safety and well-being of our students, colleagues, and school community is of paramount importance."

Tucker's letter to school chiefs included several links to documents that aid parents and educators deal with the situation with their children.

Meanwhile, Connecticut State Police said Wednesday morning they will be out and about providing added security at schools.

"At this time, our focus will be on protecting all school populations here in our state," said Connecticut State Police Col. Stavros Mellekas, who heads the department.

"No specific threats have been received, but in the interest of safety, an increased presence of troopers will be felt at Connecticut schools today."

For Dr. Andrew Newfield's biography, visit this link.

For Connecticut State Police Col. Stavros Mellekas' full statement on the Texas tragedy, visit this link.

For more information on talking to children about school shootings, visit the following links:

The American Psychological Association

The Child Mind Institute

These documents on helping parents and educators cope with the tragedy were sent out to school districts by the state Department of Education:

Resources for parents and educators

National Association of School Psychologists coping tips

National Child Traumatic Stress Network coping tips

Center for the Study of Traumatic Stress coping tips