A Gentle Squeeze...

 It's not always easy being a mom.  We've all had those days, or weeks, or even months when we've questioned ourselves.  Are we being tough enough, nice enough, patient enough...?  Are we actually doing what we set out to do when we decided to have children, or are we too wrapped up in the day to day craziness?  Do we worry more about getting to school on time and looking our best and putting forth that good mom image than we do about raising a young lady or gentleman? 

I'm not sure about you, but nobody ever really yells out: "Hey you!!  Yeah, you ...  the one that looks like you need a shower..  the one with the small child hanging from you leg...  You are a great mom!!!"  Of course there are little things that give you a hint.  That look from your husband that says "thank goodness you can handle them.."  There are no trophies for moms..  We have Mothers Day... but everyone is nice to mom on mothers  day.

How do we know that we are doing what we set out to do?  I know for me, I have set out to raise my children to be respectful, thoughtful, loving, but most of all to have something I never did...  Faith.  I take them to Mass, we pray before meals (most of the time), We read the bible... but knowing exactly what sinks in is hard. 

Today there was just a little satisfaction for me as a mom.  A little bright spot that let me know that I am in fact doing what I set out to do.  At Mass, the homily was about knowing why you were at church, being thankful for who brought you to your faith, and reflectiong on what you have done to help others come to have faith.  I was pondering some very important people in my life that got me to where I am and being thankful for all of them spending the time with me when I needed them most.  As we were about to go, Father Robert told us to think about those people.  The ones that helped us get to this place and that if they were with you to give their hand a squeeze.  I was wishing that some people were there with me just so I could show them how grateful I was for giving me the gift of faith. Then I felt it.  A small hand had found mine and gently squeezed it.  As tears came to my eyes, I looked down at my 5 year old son who was still squeezing my hand only to hear "I love you mommy." 

I am thankful for that moment.  Every mother needs a moment like that.  A genuine affirmation that what you are working so hard to instill in you kids is actually happening.  He obviously could not comprehend the magnitude of that gentle squeeze, but as I looked up at my husband, his smile let me know that he had had that same moment.  The gentle squeeze had touched him as well.

Some days being a mom is incredibly hard, but that gentle squeeze from a 5 year old boy made this the easiest day I have had in quite a while.