What's On: Survivor, America's Next Top Model, South Park

Wednesday March 14

Survivor: One World, 8 p.m., CBS

I think we are going to have the merge tonight, based on the previews. And this after the men last week traded immunity so they could get rid of whatshisname. Really, all these men are the same to me, with the exception of Colton, and that is because he wears pastels. I have spent the last week perfecting my Colton Neck Roll As A Means Of Expressing My Lack Of Caring About Other Human Beings, Or Whatever. I think I have down pretty good. Tonight, let’s all take a drink every time he does that! No driving!

America’s Next Top Model, 9 p.m., CW

Shut the front door and pull down the blinds! Cat Deeley guest judges tonight! Color me excited.

South Park, 10 p.m., Comedy Central

Season premiere: “An unspeakable tragedy occurs when one of the boys leaves the toilet seat up after using the bathroom.”